A
female
age
30-35,
*aime90
writes:is there a way to salvage a relationship once it has gotten to the point where the person your with is continuously disrespecting you? my boyfriend is always calling me a slut, whore even a cunt. He is overly jealous and tries to make me feel guilty for going out with friends. He always brings up my past and calls me a slut when i know im not. He tells me he has no respect for me even though i have only been intimate with a few people i really cared about. I feel like im at the end of my rope.. I try so hard to fix our fights, and he just doesn't care. He is selfish and doesn't want to change. I feel so unappreciated. I do everything for him, get dressed up all sexy when he comes over, buy him things even though he never buys me anything, cook him dinner, help out with his daughter etc. Will this relationship ever change? We have been together for a year and a half and its getting worse. I love him so much and i dont know why, he is never even nice to me any more. To make the situation even harder he has a baby and cant even respect that sometimes its hard for me to deal with. He never cares about my feelings and im continuously asking him to consider me but i dont know if he ever will.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009): The answer is no as Emily has said, but I am glad you know that what he is doing is wrong. Like you said, it cannot be one sided for relationships. It is done, and don't look back as there is a better guy for you who will not treat you like how he is treating you. He has issues, and you were never at fault to begin with. Only he can help himself, and decide when he wants to get help. You are young, and still have lots of time to enjoy your life, as well pursuing your career, etc. Please cut off all communication with him, as hard as it can be. You are better off not being around him, talking to him or seeing him. In the long run you will be happy you did this, as it helps you move on. He is not worth your time to treat you so bad and no woman deserves this. Just enjoy your life and someone out there will see you as a beautiful young woman with potential. Take some time for yourself, and don't look for anyone now right now. It is about you being happy, so go out there with friends or do something you love. The next time a guy treats you like crap, do not hang around and leave because if he can do it to you once, he'll do it again to you. You deserve better then this and this is final. Don't look book, and it will get better.
A
female
reader, jaime90 +, writes (13 April 2009):
jaime90 is verified as being by the original poster of the question he definitely has issues but theres no excuse for taking them out on me. im just trying to be mature about the situation and i know that sometimes love isnt enough, especially if its one sided. I know he will call in a few days, he is probably wondering why i havent called him and getting worried, he has told me before he treats me bad because he knows i wont leave so heres a shock to his system. Its going to be hard but im 19 im sure there is someone else for me and i have a long time to find them.xx
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (13 April 2009):
So glad to hear you say that.
You'd be amazed how often I give that same bit of advice to girls who then come back and say that I obviously don't understand and that they LOVE HIM and deep down he's a wonderful caring cuddly guy, he's just stressed with work / his ex dumped him (I wonder why???) / his mummy didn't love him enough so that makes it ok.
When he finally notices that the sex and gifts have dried up in a couple of weeks and calls you to ask when his next blow job is going to be, I hope you laugh in his face and tell him what an awful excuse for a man he is.
Stay strong and be proud of yourself!! You deserve so much better!
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, jaime90 +, writes (13 April 2009):
jaime90 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks, the more i think about the situation the more i know what i have to do. We broke up a month ago for a week and i was so upset i stupidly went back to him but right now i haven't spoken to him for 3 days and i actually dont care, so i guess thats a sign. Strength is the key i guess. its good to have my feelings reinforced with constructive advice so thank you.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (13 April 2009):
The answer is no. There is no way he is suddenly going to wake up and decide to put in effort when it is so much easier for him not to knowing you will take it.
Besides, he's found that the more horrible he is, the more effort you put in so it's in his interest to call you every name under the sun.
The most basic human relationship rule is that if someone is nasty to you, you don't hang out with them. Let alone go to massive amounts of effort and hope they change.
I know you have invested a lot in this but you have to realise that you are throwing your feelings into a black hole and you will never get any back.
The sooner you walk away from this man, the sooner you will be happy.
And next time, don't be daft enough to hang around for so long with a guy who treats you like crap.
Good Luck!! xx
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