A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating my partner now for 4 1/2 years we have a lovely little boy of 2 1/2 years. Over the last 6 months things seem to have changed dramatically as we hardly ever see each other. we live together but are lucky to spend a few hours a day together. I moved out for 3 months in January and have recently come home as we agreed to give our relationship another go. However since i've been home things are worse than ever, my partner is always out with her friends till midnight and is going out every weekend sometimes staying out overnight. Then when she's home she just sits on her phone on facebook or txting all night not even trying to help make things work. I just don't know what to do now as i feel she is that one special person i will ever find, but i'm starting to feel as though she doesn't have any sort of feelings for me at all.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009): If you have already left once and now you are supposed to be "giving it another go" then she should be putting in some work just like you should be. She seems more interested in seeing her friends than you. This happened to me with my ex. She seemed to be interested in spending time with pretty much everyone else but me. Also behaviour like this always makes me a little suspicious. What is she doing on facebook all the time? If she is spending lots of time with her friends then why is she then going home and then contacting them on facebook too!Heres what to do:Sit her down and explain that if this relationship is going to work then she needs to put more effort in and realise that you feel neglected and want more Quality time together. Have a word with her calmly about all this and simply explain that if things dont change your out of there! (say it in a nice way though, dont make it sound like a threat). If she still doesnt respond or doesnt make any extra time for the relationship or doesnt seem that bothered, youll then know its time to leave. It will be hard but probably the best thing to do, but give her a chance first, but dont let her take the piss.People in break-up limbo always seem to think they will never find anybody as special. But the truth is they usually do, and it will be better because there will be no pain and mistrust involved.Hope that helps, good luck!
A
female
reader, jessica04  +, writes (13 April 2009):
 It is sounding like her priorities are elsewhere, which is not fair to you or your son.
If she isn't understanding how serious the situation is, then I would suggest you two try couples counseling, for the sake of your child. However, people can only change if they actually want to, and there is nothing worse than a child growing up seeing a disfunctional relationship.
If she doesn't get her act together, then leave and seek custodial rights to your child. Be a positive male role model. If he sees that you take care of yourself and value a real, loving, working relationship, then he will do the same as he gets older. Think about him and yourself first.
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