A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I've been in this situation several times this year unfortunately. I have a guy who I hardly know ask me out, out of the blue...well...not EXACTLY out of the blue. I kind of expect that they like me at first. But it's always a big shock when they ask me out...because, well I hardly know them.Anyway, basically in the previous situations like this the guy has never spoken to me again. I know - bad right? So I guess what I'm asking is: what can I do to keep friends with them? And not hurt their feelings TOO bad?One of the other guys...when I rejected him, he didn't talk to me for aaaages, and I emailed him saying whether I had offended him and if he was ok...and he didn't reply. But then a few weeks later he said to me on msn "you know when you said "did I offend you?" well you had." I felt SOOO bad! But I also felt hurt because I had tried not to offend him, and I was really polite! I don't want to sound boastful, but I've always been right when I think a guy likes me...so far anyway. There are a few others that I 'know' like me, and two days ago I had to reject another one. This time was a little more successful. I said I would love to still be friends and that I'm sorry etc etc. He said that it would be hard for him because he's 'loved' me since year nine. But he still said that it would be good if we were still friends.I feel like exploding right now! There are too many of them! I don't like any of them in THAT way, so I have a big line of rejections coming up. Help?I know you may think that I'm thinking way too far ahead, but I seriously do know when a guy likes me...and I don't like it.
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male
reader, NM1218  +, writes (4 March 2010):
No need to be rude,for example its the same with guys.A few times girls have either asked me out,or made other moves,and I have rejected them in a nice manner.So as long as you are not rude,there is nothing to worry about.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010): When you feel the conversation is going to come up, what you do is say you have to go or change the convo, and do this until you become good friends with them and then mention how good a friend they are and they won't bring it up.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010): From my experences, I would prefer the direct approach. Theres no need to be rude, just honest.
Ive had women tell me quite a few horrible things, sure I understand that some guys wont go away and also people have bad days...but still.
What I would want to hear from you if I was one of those guys is that you just dont feel that way about me and you only are looking for friendship.
Some guys will still be bitter, especially if they have deep feelings, but in time when they are over it. They will respect your honesty
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A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (4 March 2010):
 Theres no easy way, you should have a sit down talk and tell him the truth. He may not talk to you for a while but in the end he will be glad you didnt string him along. If he loves you he will let you go. If he acts like a jerk then your probably better out of it anyway.
It hurts to be rejected, and it hurts to reject someone else, It's called part of life.
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