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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: hi been getting on really well with a women and enjoy spending time with her i really like her and told her i like her she said am like a brother to her i walked her home and walked away, she rang me down the road saying she could not open front door so i went back, and opened it right away wish i just made a movei get alot of signs she likes me dont really believe shes not interestedmaybe am totaly in friends zone how do i get out of this? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (3 December 2010):
 I agree with danielepew on this sentence:
"Have you been seeing her for, say, a week? Then this is not conclusive. Have you been "like brother and sister" for, say, one year? Then you know she doesn't want you."
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2010): Men trying to recover from being relegated to the friend zone experience ever diminishing returns, and end up looking and feeling like a fool.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (2 December 2010):
 What you're describing here is a good personal relationship with a woman. In your eyes, that is a friendship. You told her you like her, and, depending on how you said that, she could have taken the hint, or not. Let's say she didn't.
Her calling you a "brother" might mean you're in the "friend" zone, or not. I can't honestly tell because you give very little details. How often have you been "interacting" with ths lady?
Now, let's say she DID take your hint. Her calling you a brother is a clear "I don't want a relationship with you".
My cynical, cold, disgusting mind tells me that is where you are now. I don't see much of a future here. But, I could be wrong, depending on how long you've been "interacting". Have you been seeing her for, say, a week? Then this is not conclusive. Have you been "like brother and sister" for, say, one year? Then you know she doesn't want you.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (2 December 2010):
 You have to change how she sees you, one shortcut to this is to convince her girlfriends that you are dateable. You want one of her girlfriends to become interested in you to the point that she fears that she may lose you, that she is missing out on a hidden gem. You want this friend of hers to tell her that you are "hot."
I'm not telling you to sleep with this girlfriend or become some sort of ridiculous flirt, it's a fine line you will be walking here. Stop being so available to her and become a bit more mysterious. You're not being rude, you are trying to create a little interest in the unknown part of your life. I think you may be too open with her and this isn't really sexy. You want some gap between you that she will have to reach out to you to fill.
You could also try to kiss her passionately, make her weak in the knees the next time you are standing in front of her door. Then open the door, say something like, "I've wanted to do that for ages" say goodnight and leave her breathless and looking at you with new eyes. The risk there is she avoids you from now on, but what do you have to lose here, really?
A good friend of mine is single and has no prospects because he never is able to get over the idea that he's going to ruin a friendship. Screw friendship! If that's what you want, then don't settle for it anymore. At least you will have tried and will know where you stand.
I would advise that you first increase your standing with her friends and only after that is accomplished, then you make that move.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (2 December 2010):
 I second that, once a woman places you in the friend zone there's no getting out of it. You're there for good. She doesn't look at you in the way you want her to. Sorry, but move on to a woman who doesn't consider you to be her brother.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): Once you're in the friends zone, there is no way out. She said she sees you like a brother. There's no going back from that.
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