A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:the family of my boyfriend does not know about me!!my boyfriend is 36 years old and im 21, he is a trustworthy men, really honest... sometimes too much, some months ago something was happening, relative often he was telling me stories about his exgirfriend .I though was normal but i didn`t like it so i told him, but the things just got worse, when we were talking about it he gave me more information that I really didn’t want to know. Actually i think i have to much information about her.for example she was virgin when she was 25, she has the same profession than him besides she is a chef, she is rational, smart, hard worker, mature and supposedly they have bad sex for the 5 years that they were together etc.... moreover he told me that she was his fantasy of a perfect relationship, the explanation that he gave for this was that he though was perfect but it wasn’t.. (I don’t know if really mean that) he told me that feel really proud of her in many ways... he said they are friends and his family love her, and her family love him and all of them keep in touch, i feel uncomfortable with the situation. We have a good relationship for more than a year, great sex, also we are living together. The real problem is He just told me that his family doesn’t know about me. He is still single for his family. Moreover some of his old good friends (the ones shared with ex girlfriend) have come to visit him, he went out with them alone and he didn’t tell to them that he has a relationship, He’s a really nice guy who has made lots of good things for me but i hate feel like im not exist in the most important part of his life, good friend and family.I don’t know if he doesn’t want that his ex girlfriend knows about us... of if it is me, I mean, I wasn’t virgin, im not a cheff and i don’t have any degree yet, in his words`` I don’t have a life yet`` .... Do i need that to he can share his life with me?.Don’t get me wrong im smart, pretty and out going. The few of his friends that I know (the ones don’t shared with ex girlfriend) likes me a lot.I’ve stopped my studies in my country just because i waned to travel abroad a bit... I’ve also asked him how he feels about the different on ages, and he told me that he is ok with that... so I really don’t know what to think or what to do...maybe this relationship is not important enough?. Am I over reacting? What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008): Friends that he shared with his ex are best kept out of a new relationship, so I feel he's done the right thing there; it saves a lot of awkwardness all round. And I know - I speak from experience. When things settle down, that may change.
With regard to his family, it could be that they were fond of his ex, and he's worried about the way they might react to you. Talk to him about it again and explain how hurt and excluded you feel. Also, though he may not be bothered about the age difference, perhaps he feels they may be? Again, talk to him. Communication is the key to every problem.
Good luck to you both. x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2008): my boyfriend acts different around his friends. like he'll be really sweet around me, and say all the right things, and then when he's with his friends he'll be a total retarded jerk. But i dont say anything because i try to understand him, that he has to be a guy and stuff. but its been really bothering me lately, because his remarks have been kind of nasty and immature. it hurts me inside, but then he makes it better by being all sweet later. its not really a big deal, but im a sensitive person and its something that has been on my mind for a while. what should i do?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): He is bad news, plain and simple. If you are in a good relationship, his family would know about you long before a year is up. He is hiding you from them (or them from you?). This has nothing to do with you, but with him: a desire to hide the relationship so that others cannot scrutinize it. Talking about his exgirlfriend could indicate that he is not over her, or it could also indicate that he is trying to make you jealous. The fact that he tells you more than you want to know after you tell him it is too much means that he is not respecting your boundaries.
You being a virgin or not and your profession have nothing to do with this.
Please be very careful and aware of ways that he is hiding you from people or manipulating your emotions. The hiding from his exgirlfriend is also very odd, and I would suspect that over one year after they broke up, he is not trying to protect her emotions any more.
Get out while you still can.
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A
female
reader, AnnaW219  +, writes (18 November 2007):
 maybe he's not over his girlfriend yet it is ok a lot of men aint and maybe he is waiting for the right time to come to show you to his family and friends. maybe aswell he doesnt want his parents to upset you maybe they are really picky and his friends well maybe they liked her to much and they would mone at him about it and cause him to brake up with you even if he loves you so much dont be let down because of it
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A
female
reader, rockelle +, writes (14 November 2007):
 I do not think that you are overreacting. It sounds to me like he may be trying to protect the ex-girlfriends feelings and does not want her to know that he has moved on. Are you sure he is not involved with her any longer? If you are good enough for him to sleep with every night then you should be good enough to introduce to friends and family.
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