A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:recently been involved in an affair with someone from the past,both of us have fallen in love .He does not love his wife and has told her he wants to leave many times even before i even come back into his life but always ends up staying for the 3 children,they constantly argue and he has no feelings for her whatsoever.I knew all this before we became involved.I do not love my husband.This affair was for about 4 months and was great at first till all the guilt crept in and the risk of getting caught became scary and he and i could not take the chance of all the children being hurt,so we ended it.We are still in doubt that we have done the right thing because of all the feelings we have for each other.1. Is this really the end or will love and our feelings take over after having no contact for a while?2.Are both our marriages doomed anyway with us only staying for our children and not loving our partners?3.Could there ever be a future for us one day?
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female
reader, Tigerlily  +, writes (8 October 2007):
I feel for you, you are in a big mess. You need to find a good counselor and get some help. You can't listen to your heart in this - two families with children are on the line. You need to listen to your head.
I know you are hoping to find someone tell you that a happy ending is possible here, and I wish I could tell you that. But the dangers in this situation are so great for so many people to get hurt. It sounds cliche and I know you you want so much to believe that your love is different... that your story will be different... but the painful truth is most married men don't leave their wives no matter what they say. If you really don't love your husband then you should leave... for you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2007): Hi none of us know each other.Its just me and him that know each other
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A
male
reader, Steve911 +, writes (7 October 2007):
This has become a very common question amongst every other person out there. Do I stay or walk out of my marriage?
You have to get to the root of your problem with yours and his marriage individually. Where and when did it go wrong? Is it that your respective partners just don't care about the romance in the relationship anymore and takes you for granted because you won't leave as the kids are involved? Every relationship is a two way process, otherwise frustration and unhappiness creeps in.
It is most certainly wrong to love someone other than your spouse, if you are just doing it for the kick of it. If there is love between the two of you, give it it's due respect and find a solution by being together in a proper way or if you don't have the guts to go through with that live in your current situation and deal with it without complaining.
As for the kids,wouldn't you rather have them see the happy and loving side of both the parents than the constant arguments and use of foul language?
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A
female
reader, JackieR +, writes (7 October 2007):
 Only leave your husband because it is right for you not because of someone else. If you had not had a relationship with your lover, would you still want to leave your husband?? Your lover must ask himself the same question also.
I know this is a really hard decision for both of you to make, but your children must come first in all of this, because none of this is their fault. But if your marriage is truely over and the environment at home is not healthy for your children to be in, then you must make your choice.
If you do leave your husband, and your lover leaves his wife, don't rush into a relationship, be on your own for a while until you know for sure what is the best step to take for your future and your childrens.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (7 October 2007):
How well does your husband get along with his wife?
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