A
male
age
30-35,
*oviefan
writes:My girlfriend had one bad relationship with one guy who was 3 years older then her previous to me and her parents seem to have a stigma over older guys now. Since day one i wanted to talk or meet her parents and try to get their approval i hate sneaking or trying to keep things secret and it doesn't feel right to begin with i would rather have the parents accept me. Im 19 she is 16, theirs a 3 year gap but i had been friends with her for 2 years before this occurred and we both liked each other but never acted.I have had problems come up in my life that have left me unable to see her unless its at her house or under her parents approval so i am forced to try to make them comfortable with me and try to win their approval, the problem is they wont even talk to me just because my age. They assume even tho they do not even know what i look like ill be just like her ex and leave her hurting which i would never do and she knows it and she wont tell her parents because if she admits she loves me and tries to stick up for me they will ground her from life outside of school for massive amounts of time. For more info on our relationship read and maybe answer my question that went ignored so far. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-just-afraid-if-i-screw-this-up.htmlAll i asked was to have a few minutes of her parents time to say how i feel and how much i care about her, and that i want to meet them and get to know them better but they refused to have this because of something i cant control and isn't that big of a deal.Its no better to reject me because of when i was born then to say you cant date someone because of their color of their skin. You can not control either and it hurts my feelings that they hold this against me to such an extent they wont even talk to me. What is even worse is that they assume that me just because of my age im going to be a jerk and use her when ive never had detention and try to be nice and respect everyone including people i really don't like, and i treat women as equals and respect them, and love their daughter for so many reasons and it devastated me when i found out they wouldn't just give me a few minutes of their day. It seems like a painful recursive loop to nowhere where im guilty before proven innocent and can not prove my innocence like that's their whole intention, or their to blinded to realize what their doing by fear and wanting to protect their daughter because of her ex. They also seem to have the idea that guys my age are more of a threat of pressuring for sex then kids her age, which i know from when i was 16 is not true back in high school all i and any other guy wanted was to have sex and didn't care how we got thier but luckily my beliefs and self control kept that in check even if it was hard lol. Im so tempted to just call her mom and try to get her to listen but im afraid that will only get my girlfriend in more trouble and she may just hang up. This all just seems so unfair, its like just because of my age they profile me as the bain of their daughters existence and refuse to accept that their daughter actually found someone who cares that happens to be the same age as her ex. Its like in their mind im a generic human that fits in a category, when im actually a very eccentric person and am completely different from everyone around here. Is their anything I can do to get her parents to listen? This is all just hurting my feelings and bothering me. Ive tried to always be a good person and im being treated like im scum. What can i do Aunts?
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male
reader, Moviefan +, writes (19 March 2010):
Moviefan is verified as being by the original poster of the question I do understand where they are coming from but its like they should at least hear me out over the phone at the least and the wont do that.
A
male
reader, Moviefan +, writes (19 March 2010):
Moviefan is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe thing is how can i get them to accept me when i cant even see her anymore and couldn't ever see her around them. They want NOTHING to do with me. They wont see me they wont talk to me nothing. They just refuse to acknowledge me and assume im a threat and ive never done anything to her. If this cant be fixed were going to just have to move on and its going to kill us both.
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A
male
reader, mikehimself  +, writes (19 March 2010):
Don't force it. Her parents have a right to be concerned about their kid and to ground her for who she hangs out with, no matter how ridiculous that might be.
They need to get to know you. Let them see how you are her friend, and what kind of guy you are before blasting them in the face with the knowledge that you're doing their daughter.
You can't force them to accept you.
Best of luck.
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