A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I recently asked for advice in relation to a long term relation that was not going any where. Everyone suggested that I got out of it as I had been planning to.I need your advice. I attend a family run hairdressers. The son of the owner is a teacher but also hairdresses as he has been brought up in that surrounding. He is really handsone and has a great personality. I was instantly attracted to him when I first saw him bu guessed that he had a girlfriend. I tried not to question the hairdressers too much to make myself look obvious as they family know my partner quite well and longer than me.Through questioning one hairdresser she said that this guy is quite bad witht he ladies. I did not understand what she meant by this but I imagine he was a flirt. It put me off a bit.I had my hair done again yesterday the first in ages and he came in. His sister knows me well and through talk she gave me more information about him. I explained to her that I have been having problems with my 16 nearly 17 year old son. she suggested I talked to her brother as he teachers in a secondary boys school and works with dysfunctionl kids a lot. He later came and finished off my hair and we spoke. He started asking some personal questions such as do I live alone with the kids and what do I do for a living. I started to feel a little uncomfortable as I do not like people knowing that I live alone as I hate people feeling sorry for me. He told me about problems he was having with his kids. (He has twins aged 14 boy and a girl and they are always with him when I see him).As his sister was fininshing my hair he was doing his daughters hair which I though made such a beautiful picture. The sort that you visualise a mother doing. I said to his sister how nice a picture it was and mentioned the childrens mother. she mentioned the mother lived in Africa and that he had brought them up single handedly. I was really touched and commented on how well he has done. To look at him you would not think he was the type. She when on and spoke about his loft conversion as I had also done one. All the time I thought he had someone special as the kids were so well turned out.His sister had me at the hardressers for hours and I feel this was intentional. I got this feeling that they were tying to set me up. His mother was also there. That day they all got their hands in my hair. I had brought my youngest and his mum loves him to bits and was cuddling him. I am 45 and do not want any more children. I also could not cope with anymore broken hearts. I want to get married and have a happy family life.I keep visualising what it would be like with him and five children. I do like his family they are very loving and supportiative of each other.Where do you think I should take this. His sister knows that I am in management in education, I own my own homes and am quite independent bu having a hard time with my oldest. I mentioned to him that my children need a male role model in their life and I feel this is why my son is going off the rails. As much as my current partner tries, he is not living with me and I have not seen him for weeks. He made me very unhappy over christmas and its time to stop wasting time with him.Do give me your comments.Thanks for reading this.
View related questions:
christmas, flirt Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Little Lisa
Thanks for your response. I agree with youy. I should not rush into things. His sister stated that I need to come in more regularly. Maybe I could set up something. I can not bear asking men out unless I know them very well.
Maybe I could say I have two tickets for something and try and play it that way. Its so difficult trying to take things off when some many people are watching and I am sure he feels awkward as well.
I will keep adding updates.
thanks for your time
A
female
reader, Little Lisa  +, writes (4 January 2009):
Hello,
Firstly, it sound like you need to end things with your current partner, before you begin to think about things with someone else.
I always think it's healthy to take time out for yourself after a relationship has ended. Although at the same time, if you really like him, you don't want to let him slip through your fingers.
I don't think him having two kids is an issue. It's not like you'd just be taking on two extra kids. He sounds like he's a good father and if things worked out, yes you would help bringing up his kids, but he would also help bring up yours. I have to say though, I think your jumping the gun alittle, you barely know this guy. Why not ask him on a date, get to know him. Take things slowly, then you're less likely to get hurt, especially after what you've been told about him being good with the ladies. I'm afraid broken hearts are a fact of life though and the only way to guarantee never to get one is never to let anyone in, that would lead to a very sad and lonely life.
Good luck with this, I hope things go well for you,
Lisa
...............................
|
