A
male
age
36-40,
*he jacket
writes:I would like to ask the best way to handle my current situation.I just found out that my girlfriend had about 10 or more secret relationships before and while we were together (3 years). Whenever I asked her she said No or she said that guy is disgusting, ugly, no way and so on. And I believed.And I found out that she asked every single one of them not to publicize the relationships as she did to me. She always said that she loves me like no one else but I found out she did say the same thing to others.I found a note of her describing my good points - he always buy stuffs for me, he cooks for me sometimes, he loves me, he cares about me and so on.And I found a note of her stating my bad points - selfish, hard to talk to, dark, not my type of face, not rich enough, drinks, smokes and so on.She had a new boyfriend after we broke up for a month the first time and after a week at the second time, but I still went back to her and we got back together. I am with her now. I love her very much and she is my first serious girlfriend.I found out that she still has contacts with some of those guys although she told me that she doesn't. She discussed with her best mate about her boyfriends' wealth and I was mentioned as poor and that she is not serious with me.And the worst part is that she just called me and said good night, love you love you love you.. and we slept together last night.What should I do? I love her. I believe she can change herself. And I still want to be with her and I'd like to change myself to be better apart from the facts that my family is not rich, my face and my skin color.Is it true that Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater?Please advise.
View related questions:
broke up, got back together, smokes Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, _Katy_Did_  +, writes (19 March 2010):
 "I think I could conclude that she just likes to flirt around and does not intend to cheat me or anyone purposely. I think she just used quick lies and many precautions to hide all those."
I used to make excuses up for my ex too. Because I loved him A LOT. It was only after he cheated on me for the fourth time that I opened my eyes and realized what an awful person he was. I'm hoping that you might open your eyes too. You'll be much better off. You deserve someone who won't lie to you and sleep around. You deserve someone who loves you for who you are. Yes, the truth is painful. But in my opinion, I'd rather not live a lie.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2010): She's bad news, and that type of personality, you will never change. Those types of people have to change themselves, and most of them don't, because they enjoy the deceit and lies, and living double lives. You love her and you're serious about her, but she will never feel that way about you, because she cuts you don't behind your back and enjoys too many guys too much. Leave her and tell her you're never taking her back because you know how she treats you and that she'll never change. You say this is your first serious relationship, so don't worry, you'll have lots of room for better girlfriends once this one is out of the picture.
...............................
A
male
reader, the jacket +, writes (19 March 2010):
the jacket is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the advice.I think I could conclude that she just likes to flirt around and does not intend to cheat me or anyone purposely. I think she just used quick lies and many precautions to hide all those.And I learned a lesson that truth = painful. I wouldn't be this hurt if I never find out anything.I will definitely let her know how I'm feeling. I'm afraid she'd act wild and get angry.I will update the status later on.Thanks
...............................
A
male
reader, anysecondnow  +, writes (19 March 2010):
Don't get too emotionally involved with her. She is superficial and narcissistic. She doesn't respect you. She is playing with you and will only hurt you.
...............................
A
male
reader, anysecondnow +, writes (19 March 2010):
I don't think you have a good future with this one and agree with what all the others have said.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2010): Well she might not necceserily be a bad person, but it sounds like she is not in the right time of her life to be in a commited relationship. You will get hurt if you continue this relationship, and like you said this is your first serious relationship so you too need to go out there and be independant and eventually have more experiences so that you can better judge situations. I always think if you are meant to be together you will both find your ways back into each others lives in the future when you have both had experiences, become happy within yourselves and are capable of commiting together.
...............................
A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (18 March 2010):
 I'm sorry, but this girl sounds so mean. If she has to compose a list of good and bad traits about you, she's not a good girlfriend.
wouldn't you rather be with someone who loves ALL of you? even your flaws. wouldn't you rather be with someone who loves and finds you attactive?
please do yourself a favor and leave her.
...............................
|
