A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I started dating this guy about a month ago and we've been on four dates so far.. We haven't gone all the way yet but have done some stuff in bed, as well as the usual things like cinema etc. TBF to him he does have his good points like he pays for everything even though I offer to and he drives me around when we go out and stuff.He's been saying some weird stuff recently though and it's really pissing me off. I don't think its just with me, because he says hes sarcastic with everyone. However, some of them really bugged me. For example:-when we were listening to the radio, this ad came on which was like "Get a holiday for £150 with everything included?" and he turned to me and said "Are YOU £150 with everything included?" When I said "Uh, WHAT did you say to me?" and gave him a "look" he said "I was just repeating what I heard on the radio." I told him off for a bit then left it there-I was giving him a handjob through his underwear (TBF, he gave me oral first) and he was like "I'll take my boxers off so you can do a more professional job." Maybe I'm being oversensitive here but I didn't like his choice of words in hind sight? Then when I said he was "good" at oral he started whining a bit and he was like "JUST good?" -I told him I liked his jacket and where was it from, not realising it had a really obvious logo on the front. He rolled his eyes and was like "Uh, Sports Direct"? (not the place it was from).He's also not that affectionate unless we are "getting physical," like if I kiss him goodbye he doesn't really touch/hug me back which annoys me. He's introverted and I am not but still. I think he may be insecure because I'm from a more "posh" background but that's no reason for him to be nasty bc I don't speak down to him and I am pretty down to earth also. And he doesn't text me very often, I do think I could find a nicer man..Is he a jerk? Should I say bye?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 September 2017):
 Sounds like a jerk.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2017): I see this relationship not lasting long. If you decide to stay.
One day he's going to say or do something to really piss you off and that would be the last straw.
Why wait?
He already annoys you and pisses you off!
So what are you waiting for?
For him to rub it in even more?
I just get a feeling he isn't into you the way you'd like him to be.
Call it incompatibility.
And call it a day.
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A
male
reader, Been there Now over it  +, writes (23 September 2017):
Hmmmm...I had to go to Webster to see exactly how a jerk is defined. Here's part of the definition: "an unlikable person; especially :one who is cruel, rude, or small-minded"
I'll have to go against the other Aunts on this one and declare the guy a jerk. A jerk with no caps or exclamation mark, mind you, but nevertheless a jerk.
You really don't want someone who is going to annoy you at frequent, random moments. Find that nicer man.
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A
male
reader, Roboaxe +, writes (22 September 2017):
 He thinks he's hilarious. He clearly isn't.
Move on, you deserve better.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 September 2017):
 Is he a Jerk? I don't think so, I think he is a tad immature and just NOT a good fit for you.
You don't like his sense of humor (which does seem crass) You don't like how little he texts you. You also say I THINK I can find better.
So why don't you?
Not everyone you meet and get to know will be YOUR cup of tea. And YOU won't be every guy's cup of tea either. THAT is why we have the "dating" period. To get to know the other person and see if there is something there - chemistry, values, morals, hobbies, likes and dislikes for instance. You don't have to find a "male version of you... but someone you mesh well with - THIS guy isn't it for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2017): You don't like his style of humor and don't seem to care much for his personality.
You're from a more "posh" background. So why are you wasting each other's time?
After-all, you do think you could find a nicer man.
Then find a nicer man.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (22 September 2017):
 I agree with aunt honesty. I don't think he's being a jerk but I do think that you and he are not a match. You seem to be nitpicking quite a bit and really trying hard to figure out the meaning behind innocuous words and actions of his.
I think most things that he said could have been laughed off. Why are you looking so hard for hidden agendas within them? All in all however, you seem to have summed up your dilemma in your own words by saying that you think you could find a nicer man. So there you have it. You are not happy with this guy and will move on at the first chance that you get. What's stopping you then?
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (22 September 2017):
 You say "I do think I could find a nicer man". Why are you settling for him when you feel you can "do better"? You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. If it doesn't feel right, then trust your gut instinct and draw a line under it and move on.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 September 2017):
 From what you have wrote my guess is that is just his personality, I doubt he is being a Jerk or that he is being nasty, my guess is he is trying to be funny and humor you. If you are not feeling a connection then it is best to end things now.
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