| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Should I get back with my ex?I have been in a serious relationship for 5 1/2 years. We have a 3 year old daughter together and we just now have started living together. We plan to marry, but I love him, I just don't think I'm in love with him. About a month ago I ran into my ex (well we really weren't in serious relationship....we were dating for a while, etc.) I have always had feelings and I always think about him....the "what if" can drive you crazy! My ex wants to get into a serious relationship with me. He says he likes me a lot and can see us having a future together. He thinks about me all day long and I think about him. I don't think he is saying all this for sex....I know him pretty well. We have been going out to lunch and talking online as much as possible. We haven't kissed or anything like that. But it's hard for us to control ourselves. He knows I have a daughter and doesn't want me to rush into things too fast. But he wants to be with me. My current b/f does not make good $$ and I pretty much support him. Is the grass always greener on the other side? Who knows. I know life is about taking chances. I don't want to hurt anybody and I don't want to get hurt. But I want to make sure that I'm happy and I won't make a mistake by letting my ex go. Any advice would be helpful...sorry for so long.
View related questions:
my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, innermind +, writes (25 November 2005):
you say you dont want to hurt anybody and you dont want to get hurt, but if you continue as you are doingg your partner, your daught and you will all be hurt. perhaps you havent kissed your ex but you are still betraying your partner, jeopardising your relaionship and your daughter's security.
It seems you are in love with the idea of being in love.Its great to be "in love". You see the world through rose coloured glasses, you are both out to impress each other, you feel good about yourself, and you do not see any faults in the object of your affection.
But this isnt real life. As a relationship progresses you
start to see your partner in a true light and you see their faults and they see yours. Many relationships finish at this point and you move on. But in a good relationship you learn to accept each other, faults and all and you continue to love them despite the faults.The first flush of "in love" wears off you and develop a deeper, more lasting love, its just not as exciting!
This is the stage you are at with your current boyfriend, the father of your child, the person you are living with , the person you were planning to marry.
Do you want to give all that up on the off chance that a
relationship with your ex who'm you've already broke up with once for whatever reason, might just get to the second level?
I suspect what you are experiencing is cold feet over the wedding. maybe you are frightened of committment, or frightened of missing out on the greener grass that might just make you sick.
Think very seriously before you make your decision, but dont kid yourself that you can walk straight into another relationship without getting hurt.
good luck and best wishes.
|
