A
male
age
30-35,
*olina
writes:So I'm 17 going on 18 and this girl and I really like each other. But the problem is her parents won't let her date till she's 16 which will be in September. So we have been like talking and hanging out and everything but her parents still don't like the idea of me being older that her. The girl I like has an older sister and when she was 15 she dated a guy that was 17 and her parents were just fine with it. Any ideas on how I can convince her parents that age doesn't really matter ? I mean I'm not going to pressure her into anything she doesn't want to do and her parents know who I am so it's not like I'm a stranger to them. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thanks Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Colina +, writes (7 April 2012):
Colina is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell a lot of you write things about it being sexual and both of us plan on waiting till we are married so that's not long to happen between us anytime soon.
A
female
reader, peacelovecandy +, writes (7 April 2012):
 It's a big deal until she turns 18. When I was 14, I dated an 18-year-old and his dad forced us apart a month later. I was devastated. You might as well give up and think about finding her a few years from now - it's not worth the heart ache or possible jail time!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 April 2012):
 Deep sigh...
once you are both 18 the age will not matter
you are nearly 18 legally an adult
she is 15 the body of a young woman the emotions of an older child....
the difference between 15 and 18 is HUGE.
and in the USA it is ILLEGAL to have sexual contact with her.
YOU can go to jail
you can be branded a CHILD sex offender (FOR LIFE)
it's not worth disrespecting her parents wishes.
I was NOT allowed to date till I was 16. I met a boy who was 17 when I was 15.5 and I did date him till I was 17 and my parents did relent...
YOU are looking at FIVE MONTHS before she turns 16...
if she is that hot to date her you will gladly wait 5 months before you can date.
In the meantime, are you allowed to visit the home when her parents are there?
Ask permission from them to visit with their daughter in their home (IN PUBLIC ROOMS ONLY no BEDROOMS, not behind closed doors but in the same room as at least ONE of her parents) at THEIR convenience... on THEIR terms.
IF you like this young lady as a person then you just want to be near her and this should be a most acceptable compromise for you.
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A
female
reader, Anongrace  +, writes (7 April 2012):
Her parents have lived to and passed your age. Anything that you can think to tell them, they have most likely already heard(and probably said it themselves). Respect them and leave the girl alone.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 April 2012):
 The age difference does not sound inappropriate, but , if she is not allowed to date, period, until she is 16, she is not allowed to date anybody, whether he's 15 or 18 or 20.
The fact that they decided differently with the other sister does not mean anything at all , because every sister is different.
My younger sister had, growing up, more freedom , later curfews , etc., I had had , for which I held a grudge for AGES. Until, a few decades later, I realized that our parents were probably right, I was much more impulsive, hotheaded and "adventurous " than my sister, who is and was a very self disciplined, rational and reliable type, so probably I did need to be kept in check a little bit, - which of course then I would never had admitted.
September is only 5 months away, if you do like the girl, you can wait. This will show the parents you are willing to respect their boundaries and will be the best way to ingratiate yourself to them and make them trust you from then on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2012): Maybe her parents dont trust her as much as they trusted her sister at that time for whatever reasons. Also, just because they know you doesnt mean they trust you with there daughter. Why dont you just wait and get to know her and build trust with the parents. Hell september is a ways yet, you could be dating someone else by then.
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