A
male
age
36-40,
*letcherr86
writes:My wife constantly talks about her ex's, not in great detail about stuff they did but she constantly brings them up at times and it's pretty annoying... She thinks that I'm overreacting and that I'm a "baby" because she thinks its harmless when she talks about them and as if there's nothing wrong with it. She has also stayed friends with certain Ex's and will occasionally talk to them via Facebook, She's going to a homecoming of one of her Ex's and this REALLY bothers me and I try to tell her this but she says she doesn't care and is going to go with or without me. Then on top of that she gets mad because I refuse to even associate myself with them... WELL WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?? THEY'RE FREAKIN EX'S!! It's not cool to remain friends with people that you've shared previous feelings and affection with!! And then sit there and talk about them ALL the time... Can someone please tell me am I overreacting?? Is that me just being overly jealous or not trustworthy enough?? Or is my wife the one in the wrong by doing what she's doing?? I need some opinions on this please!
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facebook, her ex, jealous Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2011): Fletcherr86: Thanks for all the replies guys, I really appreciate the opinions on all of this. It helps so much!
A
male
reader, yesno +, writes (6 April 2011):
Ack! If you have not kids, divorce her. Let her have her exs, but not you. Seriously, she doesn't respect you. Man the f*ck up!
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (6 April 2011):
 I had the same problem with my bf to an extent (not this bad though) and I didn't understand where he was coming from until he showed me by getting in touch with his exes. I'm not saying that's the way to go, but that's what it took for me to understand why he got so upset.
I am in complete agreement with him now that exes are exes for a reason and should stay that way, I"m with him now so I don't need to maintain contact with them. I look back now and realize that it was completely disrespectful and hurtful to him to do that and I think your wife shouldn't be doing what she is doing. She is a married woman and shouldn't have the need to maintain a "friendship" with her previous partners.
I don't think you are overreacting. She should respect your wishes and stop talking about them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2011): I totally agree with you and I would absolutely hate for my partner to want to talk about ex's and be friends with ex's. There are a lot of men and women who are like your wife though. Whether it is for innocent reasons or not, they like to keep in touch with ex's.I guess it all boils down to tolerance and trust. Was your wife like this before you married her? If you thought marriage would change things then it hasn't. I think she is the sort of person you are going to have to accept how she is and come to some sort of compromise about what you are willing/not willing to accept. Talking and understanding are the key words here. I would find it difficult like you though....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2011): Hey.It must be hard on you when she brings it up 'coz ur married. But I think you are right to get jealous. I think everyone would be. I have a male best friend. And when I talk to guys and mention that they get a little jealous. I don't think Facebooking or hanging out with them is a problem. She'll resent you if you try to stop her. They are "friends" after all. You should worry however if she is with them for a while and you don't hear from her.As for bringing them up all the time, she sounds like she is trying to make you jealous. Talk about your ex's. She may get the hint to shut up about them.Hope this helps =)
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A
male
reader, BK123  +, writes (6 April 2011):
The past should be the past, you need to focus both on the present, you are right in being upset, its not just jealousy. If she talks about them, its because she is reminded of them, against thinking of you, it needs to end ASAP, it happened to me in my last relationship and it kills the passion and so on between you and her. Seriously it has to stop, if she loves you she will understand this.
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