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age
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anonymous
writes: My girl friend and i have been dating for a while now,. i want to know if my girl friend is using me, she's not very supportive when it comes to money. she wouldn't spend a penny of her. She knows i don't have a job, and i'm focusing on school more these days but she still expects me to take her out for lunch and dinners and buy her clothes.. i keep telling that i do not have a job because i want to focus on school more. she knows i do have a job and she still expects me to spend money on her.. she's a teacher making a decent amount of money but she does not spend any penny when we r out:s:S... i never wanted her spend money on me because i do not thing it's right, it's like a pride thingie. lol i feel shamed sometimes or nervous...what does it mean? what do i do?she also tells me that she does not want to have sex because she's not sure if we will get married. but she's down to have dry sex and other stuffs except for actual sex. i'm really confused about this whole matter. someone please tell me what i should do.. sometimes when i ask her to help me with school she's very reluctant.. she hardly helps me. its not that i rely on her to do my work, i just want someone to make sure that my essays make sense, anyways someone please let me know..
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 November 2010):
 Yes just sit down and half a good talk with her its up to you if you want to stay with her or not but you need to put some ground rules down and tell her how you feel, just remember dont be guilt tripped.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes your right, the guilty feelings make me wanna stay with her :S...... i can not put my family down for her. my parents and siblings are important than anything else. i think im just going to talk to her about it.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (7 November 2010):
She sounds to demanding if you ask me, i would never ask a boyfriend to put me before his family that is just wrong, at the end of the day your family brought you in to this world and raised you and it would be very sad if this girl were to come along and you drop them so quick its not fair to ask someone this totally out of order, if you ask me i think you would be better off finishing with her you could do so much better, and dont let her guilt trip you into staying with her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe also expects me to put her first, before my family, i keep telling her that i can not do that because we r not married, and at this time family comes first, i told her that i would put her first after we get married, but she does not seem pretty happy with that... im not really sure what to do with this women.. i don't really see a future with her.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (7 November 2010):
Well it is good that you respect her and i understand that you dont want to hurt her, but it is not going to hurt her by not buying her things show her your affection and your love and you wont hurt her, if she makes you feel guilty for not buying her things then she doesnt care about you she is only wanting money, and its not a reason to put up with her just because she doesnt like being alone.
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A
male
reader, Latino201  +, writes (7 November 2010):
OK, how do you deal with a girl like this? We'll give her back what she gives you. Tell her you do not feel comfortable giving her money if you are not married or committed. Tell her you care for her and need to know how your relationship will go when if there is no money involved. See how long that lasts. My guess, maybe a week. Drop her like a bad habit.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni do realize that she's using in someways i wish i could tell her off, but i'm afraid i might end up hurting her:S..i'm very sensitive and i do not like hurting people.. in the years we've been together i've never used the "F" word on her, i hardly swear at her, i respect her very much and i can never respect her, but at the same time i do realize that she wants to be with me because she does not want to be alone. She even told me that once. i really don't know what to do.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (7 November 2010):
yea i think she is using you and you are the fool to let her, if you dont want to break up with her then put your foot down tell her you are in financial difficulty and you need to stop spending money if she loves you or cares for you she will understand, if she asks you to take her for lunch or dinner only agree to it if she agrees to pay for half of the bill and dont buy her any clothes or gifts you will soon know if she really cares for you or not.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): some woman just want a handbag, companion. And what is there for you in all this? Goodness she only allows heavy petting. What is she holding out for? If she really is into you she should hardly be able to keep her hands and lips off you. Does she anticipate sex (currently withheld) wil be a bargaining chip when she is trying to negotiate you up the wedding aisle? Sounds like she is a controlling strategic thinker, always angling what will advantage her the most. Are you studying something that will result in a high income later? There is something for this woman, maybe not now, but down the track, that is keeping this woman around. She's working, but she's not very considerate. Once you are earning good money can you imagine how much more demanding she will be?
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