A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been getting close to a girl for the pst three months. Started off emailing and texting with the old paranoia of 'does she like me?'. then we started hanging out- cinema- meals etc. eventually i told her i liked her- she reciprocated. Then i told her last week i'd like to make it offical. She said she'd like that but she wanted me to be sure becuase she has some health issues that she was worried would be too much for me to deal with (not sexual - will be explained why i mention that later). Obviously they don't change my opinion but i told her 'ok, we'll take it slow but you know how i feel'. so now, we're really hanging out- i think on the verge of a proper relationship. But i am really shy and as of yet havn't made a move. so we are hanging out every day in each others rooms etc. and she's really snuggling up and getting cosy so last night i tried to kiss her.Just a kiss. it sort of happened but she didn't seem very responsive and it ended quickly. I saw her again today, we were all snuggled up and i tried again. Every time she'd give a quick kiss then look away. she said ' you probably don't want to be kissing me at the moment' then snuggled up to me followed by jokes and sporadic flirting.... i know we're taking it slow but is she trying to imply that she just wants to be friends? she doesn't really seem to pay me that much attention in terms of compliments or acknowledging our situation but she also is refusing to accept my compliments that i try to give her. she told me that she wants to be bf and gf but i can't help but feel more and more alienated. whats going on? what should i do?
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (30 October 2008):
 It seems her real problem is not with her asthma, but her insecurities. She thinks no one will want her because she's not "normal". If you are there for her, you'll prove her wrong.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe takes meds and nebulisers as she has bad asthma that quite often forces her into hospital.But i spent every day with her when she went in and i've made it clear that it doesn't bother me. It's not that i'm trying to force anything physical- far from it, i really like this girl and will wait as long as she wants. i just need some assurance that it's going somewhere. If it is a confidence thing, how can i boost her confidence when she won't believe me when i tell her how beautiful she is and tells me i'm being weird if i look at her too long. Then a full on long lasting cuddle in bed. It's strange how she's changed since we first met. My opinion of her hasn't changed one bit but she seemed confident and happy at first and now I can't help but get the feeling she's going off me. Then she invites me to work do's and stuff.... I'm really confused. Maybe there is another guy? but i've been with her evryday practically for the last three weeks. I don't want to lose this girl but don't know if I even have her to lose!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (30 October 2008):
I'm with Cowboy. We can't say what happens if we don't know what the health problem is. Maybe you can try private messaging so we can give other opinions.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008): dude omg this sounds exactly like wat happened to me a few weeks ago. She likes u but she has some b.s. As to y she won't go out wit u. And she doesn't really act like she likes u on the surface right? Yup been there... Just watch out in my case it turned out there was another guy. Idk how ur girl is but mine was the sweetest in the world before that. I hope thais not the case for u but expect anything and everything.
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A
female
reader, ggl777  +, writes (30 October 2008):
First find out what kind of health issues she has..and if a girl cuddles with you then i think she likes you.. there has to be something that is keeping her from letting you get closer.. maybe the last guy hurt her and she is playing hard to get now..
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A
male
reader, Cowboy +, writes (30 October 2008):
It's pretty difficult to say, because you said that she gave you the explanation that her health issues may be a stumbling block, but haven't told us what they are.
Was the reason that she told you that you shouldn't be kissing her related to the health problems?
On the whole, if I had to hazard a guess based entirely on what you wrote, I'd say that she seems to like you more than friends.
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