A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Simple question that has been eating at me for a few days.I met a great woman and have tons in common with her. we get along great, make good friends, talk for hours and just adore each other. We clicked instantly and i really like her. Only thing is...I'm 25...she's 39...i really really like her, but knowing she's two years younger then my birth mother is a little weight on my conscious. Is she really too old for me? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI decided to give it a shot, but take it slowly since we've only met a bit ago. Thanks all.
A
female
reader, Sassister +, writes (28 October 2007):
A few years back, I was seeing a therapist after a rather traumatic relationship breakup and he told me something that works very well for me. Between the 6th and 8th week of a relationship, put all your cards on the table about where you want the relationship to go and what your expectations are and expect the other person to do so also. It cleaars the air very nicely. He said not to broach the future until then or make a decision one way or the other (unless of course a deal-breaker occurs during the time), but do it at this point so you can still withdrawal from a relationship without a great deal of pain on either side.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2007): In that case I would say go for it - what do you have to lose. You might very well fall madly in love with each other, and that can only be a good thing. You only live once, so you should do whatever makes you both hapy x
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe're both women. Gay marriages are just not good right now with all that stuff going on. We haven't talked about a future because we just started seeing each other. Not mroe then a few weeks ago. I haven't given it thought of a future definite with her let alone kids or marriage...and we're so not at the point of saying i love you.
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female
reader, Sassister +, writes (28 October 2007):
Have you discussed a future with her? Do you know that she is not asking herself if you are too young for her? You mention something about marriage in the US not being possible. What is that all about?
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female
reader, grumpy1359 +, writes (28 October 2007):
 i dont think so if you love each other age doesnt matter
good luck
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A
male
reader, dapone 1  +, writes (28 October 2007):
 hi.
there is no reason why any one at any age should not go out with some one younger or older than them selfs, as long as you get on together and respect each other then there should not be a problem, it is a pity that other people always have a problem with age gaps, but as they are not involved in the relation, then what has it to do with them.
good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell i don't know about marriage since isn't not really possible in the US, but i would like to be with her longer then just a fling and everything. I can see myself with her for a future yes...thats y i want to get over this issue.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2007): If you want to get married to her and have kids, then yes, she probably is too old for you. If you want a fling and some fun, then go for it (as long as everyone is happy). Although age shouldn't really matter, the fact that her weight is playing on your conscious already is not a good sign, you will probably find that after a few more weeks together you will go your own separate ways. You might not, I'm just saying that unless you can realistically see yourself spending the rest of your life with her, then it might be good to bail out now - think what your mum would say... having said that, if you can get past the issue, I know a couple where there is a 22 year age gap and they are happy as larry! X
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female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (27 October 2007):
 How mature are you? What are her feelings about the age gap. Where are you each at in your life. You both want kids, marriage, etc. The fact that you are comparing her to your birth mother, who was very young when she had you, is a clue that maybe you are not right with this in your head. If indeed you are not, then don't put her through the pain. I like a man who is younger than me, same age difference, but we are 10 years older than you. It doesn't seem to matter to either of us though we both thought about it. In time age evens out. Maybe just be friends for awhile and see where it goes. Good luck.
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female
reader, desirewhitefire  +, writes (27 October 2007):
 No, of course not. There's someone for everyone in the world, and maybe the one for you is a woman 14 years older than you. If you get along so well and there's that chemistry between you, then go for it. Actually, my exboyfriend married one of my moms friends. She was 42 and he was 28 when they met, and they get along very well. They've been happily married for 3 years now.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2007): Its not ideal, but could work.
Do you want children? This could be a problem.
If not go for it.
Be careful not to take on a child role though.
Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2007): You have a very young birth mother! Anyway, if you like her so much, why not take the chance and be with her?
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