A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girl has been acting differently for the past two weeks or so. She's 30, I'm 28. We met in church years ago, she was dating a guy I went to high school with back then (he's actually getting married in three weeks). We've been dating for 10 months now but latetly she has been acting like she distant. We send a good morning email to each other evey morning (we don't live together) but latetly I do the sending and she barely replies at times. She has stated work has been busy but whatever. Then, she barely talks to me when we are together, no hand holding, kissing only when saying hello and goodbye, almost no sex (she's on the pill and states that her cycle gets in the way. I feel like she is nicer and more talkative with her male friends/coworkers than me. I sent her a poem I wrote about our ten month anniversary and she didn't even acknowledge it. She doesn't call or text like she use to, she doesn't say I love you unless I mention it first.I make it a point to text her cute lil notes or pics and she doesn't show any emotion like she use to. I use to get "oh thank you honey" or "your so sweet" but now she acts like I didn't do anything.She dated a couple of guys before me but none lasted more than 5 or 6 months or so, she told me she gets "bored". The one long relationship she was in was for like three years but she stated that she was in it two years too long. she said it reached a point when they were like friends just hanging out (he's the one gettin married)Now, I don't know what the hell is up. About three weeks ago a friend of hers passed away. It was actually her ex'es mother who was kinda like her mother. They were very close because her biological mother was going thru a drug problem while she was dating her ex and they became very close. I went to the funeral with her (I knew her since I was a kid) and she seem to appreciate it. Is she still mourning, is she no longer interested? What's up?
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anniversary, her ex, I love you, kissing, text, the pill Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2009): Tell her you understand she's going through a hard time, but you want to understand what's going on. Explain to her how you feel she's acting, and ask her why she thinks she's acting this way. Maybe she just needs you to initiate the conversation because she doesn't know how to talk about how she feels or why. Be straightforward with her, and I wish you the best of luck. Tell her that you want to hear how she feels, and maybe she'll start telling you before you even ask, but it won't take one conversation to do this. You will have to initiate the communication a couple times before she may finally do it herself, and ask her to do it herself, too.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2009): I'm the guy who wrote the question; see its wierd because she still does little things that makes me feel like she still wants us to work. Like she will take my dress clothes to the cleaners (she offers), she wanted to see if I was interested in going to a show with her this weekend...I've just been feeling like I'm doing all the communication outreach and initiating ALL contact.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2009): There is a chance she's getting bored with you; ask her if she is, don't keep yourself in the dark. But there's also a chance she might just be stressed. Emotional stress can sometimes get in the way of relationships. It can cause one person to feel bored, doubt their relationship, or just withdraw. If that's the case, then just do little things to surprise her. Bring the romance back; instead of e-mailing or texting her, bring her somewhere, do something you two used to do that you've stopped doing, or just let her know that you're there for her and you always will be if she needs to talk about anything. Just make her feel loved and wanted.
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A
female
reader, Rosy  +, writes (19 August 2009):
She is clearly bored of you, so just get rid of her before she can get rid of you. May sound harsh, but you deserve to be with someone who wants you, not someone who uses you till someone else come along.
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