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male
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anonymous
writes: Is she really shy or not interested, what are the behavioural differences?Hello potential saviours and helpersEvery girl I’ve ever known has been from college and my part-time job and every girl I’ve ever taken an interest in has had a boyfriend, except this one. I’m the kind of guy that backs down as soon as I hear the words “my boyfriend”, I’d rather try my chances with a single girl.She started working in my part-time job about seven months ago, almost from the moment I saw her I knew there was something special about her, an indescribable something. To put it simply, I literally cannot get her out of mind. At a party I was at I blurted out to her friends friend that I fancied this girl. Just to illustrate how much I like this girl, at the party I got myself mildly drunk in anticipation of her arrival just to loosen up my nerves, I don’t drink ever (she didn’t show up, agh!) Anyway I’m quite sure that it got back to her because everyone I knew at the party was from my job including her work friend. Now this were my question comes in, I’m getting very mixed signals from her. In the entire time she has been here there have only ever been two or three occasions were circumstances have put us working together she seems a bit shy but really nice, I notice that we have to be talking for a bit before she relaxes. When I make her smile its like I’m on an adrenalin high for the next few hours. There are a lot of times were I catch her looking at me from far off but whenever we pass close to each other its always me that says hi and most time she doesn’t make eye contact. What I’m thinking is either she is not interested and is simply being polite about it or she is interested and is super shy a lot more then me, which probably doesn’t help things, it's really hard to tell the differnce any thoughts?There’s another twist to the story, there is an age gap of about seven years, she’s seventeen. I know what you’re thinking, but I’m a firm believer and have learned form experience that maturity has nothing to do with age, if she didn’t have a mature personality I wouldn’t be interested in her. At first I told myself that the reason why I haven’t said anything to her is because of the age gap, but that was just a lie I had convinced myself of to cover up the fact that I don’t have the guts to ask her out, the age gap doesn’t bother me at all.Any and all help will be most appreciated.
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (27 January 2006):
 Sorry pal, I know it's hard to hear it but she's not interested. You've known her for seven months and she still avoids eye contact which for us ladies means we're not interested. She's being polite about it because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Take the kind hint, dear. Also, the age gap may not mean anything to you, but it might to her. In some states, any person under the age 18 is a minor. Sorry to bring the bad news. Take care.
A
female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (1 January 2006):
 The best way to find out if someone likes you is to ask them out. She does sound shy, the lack of eye contact is a big indicator, most of the time if you really don't like someone you will still make eye contact. She may just be waiting for you to make your move. I would say give it a shot, provided 17 is of legal age where you are from, ask her out and see what happens. Good luck.
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