A
female
age
41-50,
*asey123
writes:I have a problem, I split from my 10 year relationship back in September as I was really unhappy, I was pregnant last year and had a miscarriage I was a emotional wrack and decided to end things with my boyfriend as I did not know what I wanted…A few weeks ago myself and my Boyfriend decided to give it another go as I released I did love him and I wanted him back, BUT he had been with another girl a few times and she was getting very keen. He told her that he was getting back with me and she has been non-stop texting and calling, my boyfriend can go to bed and wake up with 40 odd missed call and about 10 text messages, on a few occasions she has been banging on his door till the early hours. This has been going on for a few weeks now.She has been trying allsorts to break our relationship up saying she is going to kill herself and telling me that I am to good for him, and also texting him and telling him that I am texting her horrible things which I am not!!My main concern is now as she has just told my boyfriend that she is pregnant, I have sat and worked out that if she is the max she would be is 4 weeks as he meet her on 1st Feb and ended it 12th Feb. Could it be possible that she is pregnant or do you think this is another trick to make us split up.I don’t know what to do I love my boyfriend so much and I really don’t want this to split us up, but she is trying everything in her power to split us up. I am feeling so down at the moment as my boyfriend really wants children with me and tells me how much he loves me all the time, but I am scared I may lose him to this week fling girl if she really is pregnant…Help!!
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female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (3 March 2008):
 No you wont lose him darling. She is acting like a complete nutter, and if she is pregnant (which I very much doubt) there is not a lot you can do. He loves you and is with you, so believe in your relationship. And dont let this woman come between you. She is just a woman scorned that's all!. Deal with it 6 months down the line, but I bet you buy then she will have attatched herself to some other poor sod.
XXXX Best of luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2008): You are certainly having a rough ride at the moment but hopefully all this nonsense will come to an end shortly. I'm sorry to hear of your miscarriage - I went thro one last year as well so I know what its like. It sounds to me as if this girl is only saying she is pregnant so she can try and break you two up and hope then your guy will go back to her! 4 weeks is really too early to tell if she is pregnant. Suggest to your guy that they go to a neutral doctor TOGETHER and so he can be present when the doctor confirms/denies her claims. She sounds very unstable and very obsessed with your guy! He should change his contact numbers so she can no longer ring/text him. Also you both should keep a record of what she is doing and saying so you can bring it to the police if she continues to keep up this behavious. Hopefully it won't.... but you never know.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2008): The best thing that your bloke could do here is to change his phone number. If she is this desperate then you do have a bumpy ride ahead, she will probably stop at nothing. You will have to wait and see if she really is pregnant, if she is then your bloke needs to sort out a DNA test when the baby is born, then if the baby is his it is up to you two as to how your are going to proceed in the future. He has a duty then as a father. but if she isnt pregnant then you are going to have to be strong and put up with it and stick together like glue. It is going to have to be united from both of you to battle against this clearly sad person. Can she not see that you two are back together and that you love each other.If i was her i would walk off and meet someone free and single that i could go out with. Be strong.
take care
xxxx
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A
female
reader, red1982 +, writes (3 March 2008):
I'm so sorry about your miscarriage, and am pleased that you have finally healed enough emotionally to make another go of your relationship.
Only time will tell if she is pregnant or not, but I certainly wouldn't take her word as gospel. It may well be that she is just making it up to try to win him back, she wouldn't be the first person to do this, and she sounds like she is deperate enough. I mean to go to this kind of length - the text messages and banging on his door for a week long fling, she doesn't sound stable to be honest. On the other hand she may well be expecting a baby.
I think you should sit down and talk to your boyfriend about what you will both do if she is, I doubt if he will up and leave you to be with her anyway even if she is pregnant (and if it was just a week fling he may well be inclined to get a DNA test before accepting responsibility for any baby that may be there). And even if the child was his that does not mean that he has to be with the girl, he can be a great dad from a distance.
I hope for both your sakes that she isn't pregnant, it wouldn't be the end of the world, but would make things complicated especially if you want to start a family. But don't let this split you up. It sounds as though you really do love each other.
Keep us posted, as I know that i'll be thinking of you
xxx
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (3 March 2008):
 The truth will come out later whether it is real or imagined.
You will have to ignore her on this and probably it is a fake call.
It is difficult to know you are pregnant from the 4th week.
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A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (3 March 2008):
 My suggestion to you is simple. Ride it out! She may or may not be pregnant. If by chance she is, I would suggest a paternity test straight after its birth as she may have done something stupid to get herself pregnant to trap him, by having a one night stand with some other poor fellow.
If you love this guy, you have to accept him for all his errors as I am sure he accepts all yours. If by chance he is going to be a father, then this happened outside of a relationship, so you cant blame him for that, but should stand by him.
As for this woman. I think she is a nutcase! He should make one last ditch attempt to tell her to stay away from you, and that he has NO interest in her whatsoever. However he should make his position known that if she is indeed pregnant that he will be making arrangements for a paternity test once the child is born. If this baby is then indeed his, he will take every step to look after his child.
You will be surprised what these nutjobs can do. I am in the process of dealing with something similar from my boyfriends ex fiance from 11 years ago. She is now claiming that her son is his. The dates dont add up, the childs skin is of ethnic origin, so how my boyfriend could have fathered an ethnic child when he himself is not of ethnic origin is beyond me. So she is just chancing it and we want nothing to do with it quite honestly. But she is doing the same sending him on average 40-50 texts a day and calling him non stop. Its gotten so bad that he now leaves his mobile at home as he cant take it to work. She peeps through his letterbox at night and has left love letters on his van window. A complete nutjob! We have had no alternaive but to contact the police. But she will not break us up! We are stronger than that!
Good luck and let us know how it pans out!
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A
female
reader, jaq  +, writes (3 March 2008):
 hi jaq here, i would cut all contact with her and tell her to come back in 6mths with a paternity test, because she could be preg or just trying to get him back other than this all you can do is get her to take a test to prove it to your boyfriend
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A
female
reader, SexKitten69 +, writes (3 March 2008):
 Hi HUnn,
You must be so upset by this...
This other woman sounds very possesive! What i would do in your situation is get my b/f to go see her and pretend to be all excited about maybe being a dad, get him to take a pregnancy test with him so he can see for himself (Tell her just to be on the deffinate side).
If your b/f really does want to be with you and hasn't been playing you both off he needs to tell her where she stands and all the threats that she is hassling you with need to stop otherwise you will seek harassment charges against her!
Keep us informaed if you have any other worries and i hope things sort themselves out for you!
Take Care, Please Rate :)
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