A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So here's the thing I'm wondering:Backstory: I met this one girl many years ago through mutual friends but thought nothing of it. 2 years ago, we see each other again and started talking. We went on one date. We planned many things but then she was upfront with me the next day saying that she had to cancel everything because her ex came back. No big deal because it was one date.The following year, we run into each other and start talking again and going on dates and stuff. Before I took a trip abroad, she got a bit cold and we stopped talking. Didn't know why but that's how it was. Got me just a bit bummed out. We didn't say to stop talking, she just got a bit cold.We run into each other again about more than a month ago. This time, after we talked, she was the one reaching out to me within the week. We go on a few dates and she's very upfront about things, even about the first time she told me she couldn't talk to me anymore. We took a trip on a weekend and we had a blast. She met some of my family and I met more of her family and we both got along so well. She even said how very well we get along. She did mention in the trip that she's not sure what this could lead to but she's going with the flow for now and doesn't want to rush anything. Plus, there were times where she said she didn't want to make things easy for me. We go on a date a week after our trip and things go well. Then the weekend comes and she gets a bit cold. A few days pass and I talk to her on the phone and we talk for almost an hour. We set something up for the weekend but later the week, she cancels. She did explain herself why though, she didn't leave me cold. I haven't really heard from her lately. We both lead full lives (she has kids, dad is not in the picture, I have more than a full time job) but up until the date after the trip, we would contact each other almost daily.Is she playing hard to get? Or did she pull a 180 and lose interest? Or is it that I'm feeling a bit impatient? Suggestions?? Just curious. Oh, and we are around the same age...in our 30's.
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female
reader, Koala Bear  +, writes (21 September 2011):
 I think she is still interested in you but is conflicted with quite an number of issues. She has a lot to consider being a single parent.She may have trust issues with men and scared to let another man close to her heart again. She says she "doesn't want to make it easy for you" because she is scared to trust again and let down her guard. She has to be very cautious of who she lets into her life because should you break up with her and leave you will also be leaving that impression on her kids who already lack a proper father figure. If the biological father is occasionally around(at his convenience) this can cause a lot of stress and be emotionally trying for her. Just be consistent with the way you feel and eventually it will pay off. Feel free to call her out on her mood changes and remind her that she has a good thing right in front of her. Let her know that you love her and that you are a man of your word. Best of Luck!
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