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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi, I'm the one that had the question "I enjoyed our first meeting, but she's so busy that I can't seem to plan a second!" and I'm still lost. Here is some more information and the latest happenings. I laid off of her and waited for her to contact me. History: we met online, talk on an instant messager, and have met for dinner once (she's not big on phone calls). She works a second shift and has a daughter, so I understand she is busy. After laying off and not contacting her, I've gotten a "hi" here and there in the past week and half (not a long time I know) but they don't become conversations. She says "hi" and I say "hi how are you" and she either doesn't answer or she states she's busy or she has to go help her daughter or something. I thought I should give up but she still sends the "hi's" so I think again. The fact that she works a second shift and doesn't get home till late also means there isn't a lot of time to talk with her anyway. Before we met there was a period where she was sick, and I tried to leave her alone and offered help if she ask me for it. Now two weeks later she’s sick again. I'm wondering what to believe and what not to. There are times where I know she's on the IM and I am also, but I don't get any word from her. Am I thinking way too much into this? Is there a game being played or do I just need to relax and wait her out? Is there something I should or shouldn't be doing? I'm really confused; please let me know if you need any more information. Thanks for your help in advance!Ps Other girls I’ve been with I just clicked with and we where together. This is my first time really “dating.” So it’s kinda new to me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2006): Before you give up, have you asked her out directly? I was really frustrated with a guy who would ask me if I'd be interested in getting together and then saying "so call me when you're free". He thought he was giving me space, not putting pressure on me, being sensitive to my busy schedule. But I thought he just didn't have the guts to ask me out. He was waiting for me to contact him. Meanwhile, I was waiting for him to be a man and ask me out on a propper date.
You ask her out, pick a day, if she can't, pick another day. If she does want to see you, as long as she has notice, she'll be able to plan for the date. I think it's worth making that final effort before you give up. At least then you'll know. Good luck!
A
female
reader, juliagulia  +, writes (3 March 2006):
 I have to be honest here and say she probably just isn't really that interested in you. No matter how busy she is, if she felt "the spark" or whatever, she would want to talk to you and make an effort to do it. A "hi" through a text message or im is no indication that she likes you, though I can see why you are so baffled by it. What is the point of that? It seems she may be playing games or something. I wouldn't put too much thought to it if I were you. Just don't respond and if she wants to talk to you, she will make time to call or send a message. As far as dating goes, when someone is worth your time, they will try to make time for you. This lady is not doing that, regardless of what is going on in her life and you need more interaction with someone than just a hello now and then. Good luck and hang in there... someone great will come along soon enough if you focus on yourself and just try to find new ways to meet people. Get involved in some activities so you can meet some people in person - that is way better than trying to hook up online! You could try hitting the gym and see what hotties are around. Or take a guitar class (a pottery class would be even better - almost all chicks). Just get out there and mingle!
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