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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have been very stress out with planning my wedding, my work and my family life. So sex have the last thing on my mind. My fiance and me haven`t had sex in 3 weeks because I haven`t really been up to it lately. One night my fiance and me were going to bed. And she need to take took a shower. When she came back in a sexy outfit (she`s a model part time), I wasn`t really in the mood, I turn her down and she started crying because she thinks I don`t find her attractive anymore (not true). She storm out of the house and went to sleep at a friend`s place. She wont answer her cell phone. Do you think shes overreacting?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2009): Just tell her stress is a sex killer and all that's been going on. Reaffirm to her she's beautiful, and you're excited to spend the rest of your life with her.
Next time, maybe just ask for a massage. Sometimes a guy just wants to lay there and do nothing but feel her loving hands on him, although he might just turn around and change his mind;)
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (12 January 2009):
 Aww that is a BAD mistake there on your part. The two of you are planning to get married but don't have sex because it's stressing you out? Not good. She dressed up and she is a stunner and you said no? Oh boy.
Call her - send her flowers. Tell her what is stressing your out. Tell her she is the most gorgeous women on the face of the earth. Even though she is pretty and people tell her every day she needs to hear it from you. She needs to feel that she is the center of YOUR universe. When a guy declines sex, 9 out of 10 women will think it's because he jsut don't want her.
Talk to her. Make love to her.
Sex is an AMAZING stress reliever.. don't you know?
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A
female
reader, Dani28  +, writes (12 January 2009):
Wow a man that refuses sex! now that is something new!!! i do she may have overeacted a tad, but she was probably embarrassed, do call her though for gods sake, make a huge effort with, show her u still care and love her loads. tc xx
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A
male
reader, dr. love  +, writes (12 January 2009):
Just rest for a day! Then BEG her for a date. Tell her how much you love her. Then explain all the stress you have and I'm 100% sure that she will listen to you. And she will forgive you.
Good luck!!! And congrats!!!
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (12 January 2009):
 That's a tough call. I think we are missing part of the story. Where is all the stress coming from. Your fiance should have about 4 X the wedding planing stress that you do. So it must be job or family related. At your age you should not be not up for it for more than say a week. You need to learn to manage stress better before it kills you. Back to the main question. At 45 or 55 a woman might expect to be turned down after she dresses up for you after 3 weeks. But where you are under 30 she has a right to be suspicious. My advice, appologize on your knees if necessary, cut back on the alcohol porn or mastarbation (if any) relaax take a day off and have a picnic with her. You need the break and she needs the time with you. FA
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A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (12 January 2009):
 Not really, based on her career means she heavily relies on her beauty/attractiveness to win clients/jobs etc. In a similar sense she's feeling, yes, a little less attractive now because you don't want to "make love" with her. if she was an office receptionist or a car sales lady maybe things might be a bit overreactive.
The important thing here now is when someone cuts off the communication it causes more stress on the relationship than is really necessary, this could potentially have damaging effects if she does it for too long, so if you can, get over there with a bunch of flowers and chase her mate. As the famous Oscar Wilde says: "If you let her get away, a part of you will die a death, the death of the heart."
Other wise you can wait it out but you potentially risk her having second thoughts about marrying you. I know its drastic, but this is a very important time for you both where all the ironing out in the relationship is to be done.
Good luck mate, I wish you the best, and don't let her get away!
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A
female
reader, im_a_dummy +, writes (12 January 2009):
 yes. i think she is totally over reacting!!!!!!!!!! at the same time, i think you should have at least let her know she looked amazing or how ever you felt she looked, but explained to her, im really stressing out about x,y and z and im not really up to having sex right now, i am sorry. just how u explained it here. maybe she thought you rejecting her was ur way of telling her your not attracted to her anymore. unless you told her that, i would assume it too. i just would have at least stayed at home. if u cant get a hold of her, try getting a hold of the friend. best of luck.!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2009): No, I think she's probably as stressed in her way as you are in yours - and that NEITHER of you are talking to each other in the manner necessary for a marriage to work.
You should think about this.
Then, call her friend a leave a message: you'd like your finacee' to call, you want to apologise for hurting her feelings, and the two of you need to talk - there's been a lot going on in your life, you made the serious mistake of not talking with her about it on a regular basis, and you want to correct this mistake at the earliest chance she'll give you.
You'll need to trust her enough to confide in exactly these kinds of stressfull events - not shut her out in an effort to spare her feelings, or not burden her, or any other such thing. Your silence during these 3 weeks was THE WORST thing you could have done - and now you know why. Here's to learning an important truth about being married, and to having a happy marriage once you two start really talking to each other as you should be/need to.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2009): Definitely not sweet heart maybe your are just not acting your part right, if the guy that I am suppose to be marrying soon, “doesn’t” want to have sex with me (3 weeks is a life time how do you get through it without any form of release) then I would probably also think he does not find me attractive, when you decide you wana marry someone its because you are sure that this person is the one you want to go to bed with every night and wake up next to every morning for the rest of your life, and what sane person would want that with a person who does not want them, I am sure that your fiancé is not just looking for pleasure, she is obviously looking to bond with you, sex is not always just bout warm bang thank you man, sometimes its for reassurance, confirmation, to connect and to be reminded of how much you love that person and how much they love you, angel you better plan this girl a beautiful night with roses soft music and love making, woman needs this more than what men understand, so apologise her and make it up to her.
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A
female
reader, huneygyrl +, writes (12 January 2009):
 Yeah, I do think she's over reacting.
She didn't have to leave the house.
Don't call or text her. She will realize she over reacted.
You should have just gave her the goods!!!
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