A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend who Ive known since I was 12. Shes one of my bestfriends, love her to death. But lately Ive been feeling a little funny about her. Years ago when I was in highschool, I had a boyfriend. Things were good between us until she came around. She was being a little too friendly for my likings. He didnt think anything of it. But I ended up breaking up with him, and me and her stopped speaking for a while. But obviously we made up. Now fast forward to the present day. I found my old boyfriend on facebook. We've been talking ever since, and spending alot of time together. Now my friend doesnt agree with me seeing him. She keeps trying to push me on another guy I kind of talk to. Im not all that interested in him, cause hes always busy. But Ive noticed with my friend, whenever Im dealing with a guy and Im content with the relationship she gives me bogus advice to ruin it. This happens everytime, it never fails. I dont get it though. I need advice on how to handle her. But right now Im at a point in life where Im going to do whatever makes me happy, and for the time being he makes me happy. I dont think she wants me to be happy.
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female
reader, feelslikeimdivorcedalready +, writes (21 December 2010):
After reading your followup answer it seems as though your friend, I hate to say it, IS trying to sabotage your relationships.
I had a friend like that, who couldn't see me happy, neither could her mother. They would tell me aweful things about men I was dating and I would believe them. Now they have taken to telling my friends, family and even my husband that I am basically a tramp. I am almost 35 years old and can count the number of men I have been with on one hand.
So I do believe that she wishes she was you. Had your light and enthusiasm because for whatever reason, she doesn't know what she has, meaning her own assets. If she has a friend like mine, they probably brain-washed her into believing that shes a total dog, because they are insecure. Inturn making her insecure, broken and wanting to be someone else.
Be her friend, hang with her but maybe tune out the advice or just dont enlight her of your situations anymore. Seek what you are looking for elsewhere, srangers seem to give the best advice due to the fact that they are able to be objectionable.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlso, before I forget to mention it. Whenever she deals with a guy I may not like them or the things they do. And I let her know, not to discourage whatever they got going. Just for her to keep her eyes open. And she ALWAYS disregards what I tell her, and ends up getting hurt. Maybe thats why she feeds me bad advice?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank guys! But you know now that I think about it, she hasnt been in a relationship for a while. And when shes dealing with a guy, they're usually only after one thing. Dont get me wrong, shes pretty and she has way more body than me. But she has no personality. Shes very bland and passive. And Im the total opposite.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010): I had a friend like that all through high school. We finally went our separate ways and now I've been with the same guy for 4 years, we are engaged and have a baby on the way. I thought she was a good friend but she didn't want what was best for me, so I suggest you go your separate ways.
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A
female
reader, Adorskable  +, writes (20 December 2010):
 If he makes you happy than try to stay in contact with him. Having a friend is a good thing because we can lean on their shoulders to cry when we are in pain but if this friend is making many attempts to see you alone than obviously she is not such a good friend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010): atta girl, you have hit the nail on the head, she does not want you to be happy, she just desires what you want and will go out of the way to make it happen..let me guess you are more pretty and have more attention than her????
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010): I've had a friend like yours, exceptt they actually ended up dating my boyfriend and I ended up pushing it all on him which made him turn to her and they ended up together.
What I would tell you is, if a friend is a true friend they'll understand and let you do what makes you happy, they're there to help you and guide you and stand by you, Not control you.
If the guy makes you happy go for it, if your friend can't deal with it why is she your friend then?
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A
female
reader, feelslikeimdivorcedalready +, writes (20 December 2010):
The question to ask yourself is, is my friend happy? Does she have a relationship? Have you always listened to her advice in the past? I think that you are right to think of yourself for a change, and no one else. You are who makes you happy. You live for you, seems as though your friend is. If she is making accusations toward the guy you are seeing, tell her to prove it. See what she does next, then you will have her true intentions shining through.
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