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Is she interested? Whenever we are together all she does is talk about other guys!

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 November 2011) 12 Answers - (Newest, 18 November 2011)
A male United States age 36-40, *avid2000 writes:

I have a girlfriend, who I think is totally amazing. She tells me she misses me, that she loves me, and wants to be with me forever. That's all when she texts me, when we're in person, she constantly talks about other men. I don't mean every 6 months she says Johnny Depp is hot. I mean every time we are together. We don't get to spend much time together, but when we do it's like that's all she talks about, actually a few days- it has been all she talks about. Even had to show me the performers butt, when she went to a concert. Is she just not attracted to me at all? She doesn't really seem interested in person. What do you all think?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2011):

Yes when one talks about lusting after a man, or any attractive male, tends to let one believe that they cannot be faithful or trustworthy because as the old adage says ' As a (wo)man thinketh; so is (s)he.'

That she is so lustful and it is disrespectful - I would DUMP a guy- and have-that has to point out how fabulous every other woman is because its not long before they are comparing you to others and somehow you always come up lacking and like its a dang fricken blessing you are 'graced' by their presence. Like you are some 'pity f*ck'.

Get over yourself I have said and punt kicked those Losers out of my life ASAP and INDFEFINITELY.

Know what I am saying?

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A male reader, david2000 United States +, writes (18 November 2011):

david2000 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Haha, it's not Johnny Depp I'm worried about, I just used him as an example. It's not even the casual remark about some guy, it's like all the time. Not just David Beckham, but guys at school ect; that's why I'm uncomfortable. It's everything.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (18 November 2011):

Honeypie agony auntI would tell her how it makes you feel and if she doesn't get it start talking about female celebrities.. see what happens if the shoe is on the other foot.

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A female reader, Eyespy17 United States +, writes (18 November 2011):

Oh, I didn't realize it was famous people. Than that's nothing. Forget about it ...

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (18 November 2011):

CindyCares agony aunt I'd say too that this type of crushes is basically innocuous and should not make you feel threatened . But bored, yes. How come : you don't have much time to spend together, and she wastes it talking non stop about Johnny Depp's butt, or whatever ? Pardon me, but if it 's really like this , she is a bit of an airhead, and you are too patient for your own good.

Put your foot down. Tell her gently but firmly that since you haven't got much time to spend together, you want to spend it talking about things that may interest BOTH of you.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (18 November 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI sometimes feel like i'm not enough for my man.. he talks of Demi Moore and others... and I tell him.. "I don't feel like I make you happy and I'm not enough" and he tells me "you are and you do... I'm just always looking to make things perfect and I know they won't be but I can try"

makes me feel not good enough so I get it... but I am good enough for him and he is good enough for me... he settled and I compromised... same thing different words.

IF she makes you feel bad you should tell her... see what she says.. if you can accept eventually that what she says is the truth maybe it can work out.

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A male reader, soon567 United States +, writes (18 November 2011):

I doubt she's trying to make you jealous. I had the hos for Jennifer Love Hewitt, but it didnt mean I would leave my wife at the time for her. Its all fantasy and let it stay that way. If you admit it there probably a few you see on tv as well that you like.

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A male reader, david2000 United States +, writes (18 November 2011):

david2000 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

More info: It's mostly celebrities that I deal with, which I don't find any more comforting, but I get the people she knows as well. I show her all kinds of attention, I really have tried to be someone that "I would want to be with", but I don't seem like enough. She talked a while about a coworker, who she had a crush on, but said she'd stick with me. If that helps any.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2011):

I don't blame you for being fed up hearing it to be honest.

If it was a bloke going on about females all the time I would be inclined to walk off and let them drool over their fantasy and catch up another time.

Try saying to her that you appreciate she likes A B or C but would prefer it if she saved that chat for her girlfriends.Say you want to focus on the amazing/gorgeous her... and your relationship, when together....

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2011):

Johnny Depp is in a committed long term relationship with a gorgeous model/singer/actress. They have kids together. He is a very private man, family oriented, faithful. I do NOT see him being a threat.

The GF is infatuated and I'd say its a bit immature for her age grouping. You'd expect that talk behaviour from a pre teen to late teen I'd say.

I say she may be playing games.

Next time she says something like that just say 'wow- I'd think my ass would be hotter considering it likes you, is here in the flesh, and wants to take you for dinner whereas that ass is TAKEN by some uber Hawt Actress with great LEGS!!'

If she tries to get offended just say, well if its unkind and inconsiderate of me to state an obvious about how attractive another woman may be- what makes you think you can talk about how attractive another man is?

So lets both grow up and start appreciating one another. Sometimes thoughts are meant to STAY INSIDE The HEAD thoughts.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (18 November 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntis she talking about FAMOUS people? or people she knows?

big difference in my opinion... if it's famous folks it's pretty harmless even if it is a bit disconcerting...

if it's folks she knows, that's a bit more upsetting and not nice....

have you told her it bothers you?

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A female reader, Eyespy17 United States +, writes (18 November 2011):

I think she's trying to make you jealous so you realize how lucky you are that she is attracted to you while she's clearly attracted to so many others too. In a weird way, she could be letting you know "you've won out for now - now don't take me for granted". Give her more attention and affection and see if she stops.

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