| A
male
age
26-29,
*hawn1.Butcher
writes: My girl friend doesn't know how to relax, everything bothers her. My friends claim she cries way to much and her friends claims she's bossy. I've stopped doing many things because she claims she doent like them and now I cannot respond to her claims about politics because I make her feel dumb, shes in secure and now it's coming to a point where it is controlling. Please help I don't know how to bring this up with out her crying
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female
reader, llifton  +, writes (10 September 2016):
 The most important thing I learned from my previous relationship was that I cannot hold my feelings in. My feelings and emotions matter. And I won't ever be manipulated out of expressing them ever again.
That being said, you should never feel too uncomfortable or afraid to go to your gf to talk about how her actions are making you feel. Her tears shouldn't be a deterrent. I know it never feels good to make a girl cry, but it's not really YOU who is making her cry. She's kind of doing it to herself. You have every right to talk to her about your feelings.
I have been in your shoes and felt completely controlled before. I was punished for ever having feelings and expressing them. Don't do the same thing I did. Speak up and don't be afraid to do so. If she is controlling you, it's time you put your foot down and said something about it. Good luck.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (9 September 2016):
 You are feeding her paranoia and insecurity by not doing things she doesn't like. While you should take her feelings into consideration, you should also be true to yourself. How much effort does she put into changing? You seem to be the one making all the compromises.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 September 2016):
 It doesn't matter if she cries. Let her cry. But be honest with her, she cannot control you just because she is insecure. She needs to know that it is not okay to behave like that. She is blaming you for how she feels, she is bringing you down, making you feel guilty and that is not how it should be in a relationship. You need to be stronger. You need to tell her she cannot treat you like this. Help her with her insecurities yes but don't allow her to control you, it will only get worse, until you are the one on edge. Take control now.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (9 September 2016):
 You need to have a conversation with her and tell her exactly what you've just told us.
A relationship isn't one person having watch over another person, so don't let her treat you in that manner.
Give her a chance to change after you've discussed it with her and if there's no improvements then show her the door.
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