A
male
age
36-40,
*aseyk85
writes: my wife and i have been married for over a year now, we have a 1 year old, and are a pretty happy couple. today she left to work and left her myspace page up, and i saw she had a new message. it was from a frind shes been talking to about pregnency. but there where alot of messages from this guy who did one of her tattoos a few weeks ago. when i clicked on them, it start where she asked him if he wanted to hook up with her. later he wrote yes, and they went on emailing eachother on when, where, and how to meet up. she asked him to have condoms ready(theres alot of details ill leave out). well he had to work late so they ended up not doing anything. she still said in a email that she still wants him. im freaking out. what should i say, or do?p.s. i kissed a girl before we got married or had a kid, should i feel worse for not ever saying anything about that?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Lila +, writes (17 October 2007):
She's probably gonna deny anything is going on even with hard evidence. However,she owns you an explanation,don't let her turn it around on you,screaming,ranting,saying you invaded her privacy,remind her that changes nothing.She was at least thinking about cheating.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (17 October 2007):
I'd bring it up to her. Ask her about it. Even if she didn't meet up with him or do anything, she still intended to.
When talking to her, try to remain calm. I know that is difficult, but it's important. But don't accept excuses for it. Remember cheating is a choice, it's also a marriage violation. There is no excuse that's acceptable for committing adultery.
I wish you luck. It has to be a very difficult situation to deal with.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (17 October 2007):
Don't try to get even. Show her what you found and tell her to knock it off or you will divorce her. Maybe that is what she wants. Take the high road.
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