A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm totally confused and I just hope somebody can help me make the right decision. I met this girl at work about three months ago. It was her first week in her new job and we got talking on our break. We hit it off straight away. After a few weeks I asked her out. She said yes. She had the same interests as me and I couldn't believe that someone like her could be interested in me. She's lovely. 5'5, blonde, curvy, a slight tan, everything in the right place. Or so I thought. The date went well and we continued dating for a couple of months. We kissed and cuddled in that time and I didn't push for sex, but God knows that I wanted to make love to her.Two nights ago we went out to the cinema and she was a bit quiet. I asked her what was wrong and she said that things were just on her mind and it was nothing to worry about. When we came out of the cinema she asked me if I fancied coming back to her place for a while. I agreed. We got there, she made us both a cup of tea and we sat down on the couch. She brought up the topic of sex. She said that she has fallen in love with me and I admitted that I had too. She said that she wanted us to make love more than anything but there was something holding her back. I told her that she can tell me anything and it won't change the fact that I love her. Then she came out and told me. She said that she wasn't a female by birth, but by choice. It hit me right away what she meant and at first I thought it was a wind-up. She said that as long as she can remember she has felt like a woman, her voice has always been a woman's, her body shape has always been that of a woman's except she had breast implants but she's always had an hourglass figure. She then told me that she'd not had a full sex change yet but one day may do but she's not ready. She also told me that I'm the first person she's revealed this too. Nobody else knows. Needless to say I was shocked but when I looked in to her eyes I could still see the girl that I had fell in love with and fell in love with me. She asked if I would like to make love and I said yes. We went to the bedroom and got undressed. It was amazing to see her naked and it was everything I'd imagined, if not better. She removed her panties, revealing her male genitalia. I wasn't put off, I just knew that I wanted to make love to her. She got in to bed and told me that the sex was going to obviously be anal but she'd never had real anal sex before and had only used a dildo, making her a virgin. I made love to her all night. We woke up the next day and went to work together. Needless to say that tongues were wagging as we'd been seen arriving together. While I was at work I got thinking. I was thinking, "Does this mean I'm gay?" "Is she a woman?" All these doubts just came rushing in to my head. I love her to pieces but is she a woman or a man? I'm so confused! I don't want to hurt her, I want to be with her but if I'm feeling like this I'm afraid I will do just that, hurt her. She's coming over to my house later and I just want it to be perfect but I'm so worried. Can anyone help me?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010): She looks like a woman and that is what you were attracted to so being attrached to a female looking body would make you straight not gay.
A
male
reader, Phsyciatrist-to-be +, writes (16 January 2010):
 I wouldn't call your sexuality into question at all here: you fell in love with a woman, and you fell in love to the extent that when this revelation came, you weren't put off. No matter her body, you will probably always see her as a woman in the future: you loved her when you where sure she was a woman, and now you kow the truth, you still love her.
I think that as long as you see her as a woman, which is obviously what she wants, then you should ignore the doubts you're having. Plus, if she's thinking about completeing the change, you might not have to worry about it for much longer.
All the best!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2010): Hi. If youve never had sex with a man or had sexual feelings for a man and you didnt allow her to perform anal sex on you, then i dont see how you can be gay or bisexual. You fell in love with a woman. And when she has the full change you will be with a woman. But as with anyone, use protection until you know her properly. IF she hasnt been totally honest with you and has been with other men, you stand the same sort of std risks as you would with anyone else, so take care and i hope it all works out for you both.
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A
female
reader, Brooklyngirl  +, writes (16 January 2010):
 Well...she a work in progress! She still has her male parts so...she's just not complete. If you do care for her, then the rest can be worked out at a later date! It in no way does this make you gay! Stop worrying about it. You fell for her as a woman. It wasn't her genitalia that attracted you! Nobody has to know except the two of you, and her doctors of course. It's up to you whether you pursue this relationship. I suggest you keep the lines of communication wide open for further discussion! Good Luck!~BG~
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A
female
reader, Zebra481 +, writes (16 January 2010):
Okay. I started seeing your problem from the beginning. She obviously is pretty and you think so. And no one else would treat her the way you do which is great. She has revealed to you her ultimate all life secret and it will hurt her if you say you can't do this anymore because you think it's gay or gross. If you really loved her you would do the right thing.. And it looks like you do really love her. Don't worry about the past just think about the presence. Like I was thinking if I was in that situation I would hate to think of her before if she was a man. And that would scare me. But I'm telling you this because I think she is probably a really sweet girl by the way you described her. I hope that helps I'm just telling you his from a girls point of veiw. And no one else would have to know that she is guy or used to be but now she is a girl and you obviously love her :)
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