A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i dont know what to think?? is my girlfriend cheating? iv been hurt in the past from this and did have trust issues but then i met this perfect girl we remained very very good friends for a while before we both realized we had strong feelings for each other and i trusted her then we fell deeply in love things have been amazing. we do everything together and just love hanging out going to party, clubbing together or lazing around the house, we also have a great sex life the best we have both had all in all things were near perfect we both discuss our future together regularly she says she will never let me go and wants that ring on her hand and has never wanted anything like that in the past, she says im the air she breathes and loves me with all her heart at least a few times a day. BUT lately my stomach tells me things.. thoughts of her cheating cross my mind and my stomach curdles. she did cheat on her ex which concerns me she did never love him though. one night we went out together to a friends party in a club we were having a ball as usual hanging off each other having some drinks all normal but a new male showed up there that i had never met he was new amongst all our friends i couldnt help but notice them looking at one another in the eyes and he had a very particular look on his face towards her when i looked at her she quickly took her eyes off him. i wasnt very fazed and didnt think much of it later in the night they both dissapeared for a period of time coming back from the toilet to say oh i was just in the toilet fixing my hair he returned from the toilet 5 seconds befor her. the night ended and we went home she undressed and her underwear were inside out she laughed i said why are they? she said i have no idea and nothing more was said. weeks after this event i notice small changes, sex went from every night to 3-4 times a week (which is still great) but out of character, i would always notice her checking out other guys and begun catching her in lies for instance recently she went away with her single friend for her friends birthday she rang me everyday and night and texts. on the saturday night she rang me after being at a bar she said a couple offered a 4some to me and her i said if i was comfortable with it would you and she said yes when she got home we discussed it more and then she said she would not want to do it and couldnt remember saying she would?? i asked if she got there number she said no i checked her phone and surly enough there are texts from the other female, my girlfriend saying she is interested and she will talk to me about it, these were received that day after we spoke?? BUT in the msg's my girlfriend says she wouldnt do it with out me so im very confused as to why lie about it?? we are always so open and honest with one another it didnt add up. amongst those texts were more from another guy, nothing to do with while she was away. she was being very flirty and almost suggestive in the texts towards him all this has bought other things to my attention such as she give me long detailed answers to small questions which is very out of character, small scratches on her back with no explanation, ditches our plans to spend time with the girls saying she forgot she already had plans with them and hasnt seen them in ages and so on. but everyday still tells me she loves me dearly and wants nothing but me. am i completely over reacting and being paranoid to think she may be cheating because of my past?? or could i be on to something? i know she loves me and i love her more then anything most of these things could have good excuses and there is NO solid evidence of anything happening. maybe im creating the idea in my head by piecing these things together?? because she does look me in the eyes and say she loves me with a very genuine loving look im just confusedhelp!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for the replies its great to actually hear what you think. im not denying the fact that she probably has but im still slightly confused, just the other day she organized to get a tattoo on her wrist saying my name and forever and ever its something we always say to one another and she said its something she wants to carry on her for life to show her commitment to me apart from one day being married, why on earth would she do something like this if she has been unfaithful??? and iv dug very very deep to find some more concrete evidence of cheating like her emails phone calls texts even gps tracking but with no luck she has always been where she said she will be always with who she said she's with and she always doing what she said she is doing but then there are other signs i spoke of earlier that say she may haveso so confused... if its true im ready to accept it and end it but if its in my head i could wreck the love of my life
A
female
reader, terrifenby  +, writes (16 April 2010):
 You have to confront her about this and let her know your worries! Maybe because you have been hurt in the psat you are seeing things that aint really there! Talk to her and if you still can not 100% trust her then you have seriously consider whether you can stay in this relationship! All the best hunni! :)
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A
female
reader, cnith  +, writes (16 April 2010):
 you know... I think you just don't want to hear you've been taken, again. Once a cheater is always a cheater. That's not an expression just for guys. Some people just cant keep their knickers on.
You know the answer to this. It's not in your head. Usually gut feelings are dead on. Don't throw them aside because it hurts to deal with the truth.
If the words and the actions do not match, there's something wrong. Trust me. Go find someone who's actions and words match all the time, forever. HUGS and I'm so sorry this happened to you again.
Take some time and figure out why you keep attracting cheaters into your life. Find the pattern, then break it.
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