A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ugh. Okay, im in a really difficult (for me) situation. I feel I have cheated on my boyfriend of 3 months. Im one of those people who are insanely against cheating and is 100% for honesty so the possibility of this sort of thing happening never crossed my mind. My boyfriend went to the Philipines for Christmas (he's still gone... 1 more week to go). And on Christmas night, I was feeling really lonely and this guy who's kinda had a thing for me and vice versa started texting me. One thing led to another and soon we were sexting. Things got pretty heated. We were at the point where we were discussing a possible hook up... I dont know if you can consider it cheating, but i feel like it is. And now Im not sure if I should tell my boyfriend about it. Any opinions or advice would be greatly appreciated. And for the record, im crazy about my boyfriend. I dont know how i let this sort of thing happen!
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cheated on my boyfriend, christmas, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2010): sexting, cheating, not loving boyfriend. WTF
you cheated on a boyfriend you do not love, but only have affections for.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2009): As you said, you felt abit lonely and it was just a spontaneous thing that happened, As it's pretty clear you regret it and feel quite guilty about it, I don't think you should tell your boyfriend as you didn't actually do anything, and you realise you were wrong. Don't lead the guy you were texting on,because that is also unfair. so don't call/text him.Again. Focus on your relationship with you're boyfriend...That you're crazy about.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay... So the guys dont know each other at all. So theres no way for my boyfriend to find out about this whole siutation. And ill be the first to admitt that neither me nor my boyfriend love each other. Theres affection, but no love. And i stopped talking to the other guy entirely. I thought it was better that way. But thanks for all the advice/opinions.
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A
male
reader, doom  +, writes (28 December 2009):
 Well, it may seem that you cheated...but you didn't. i think it's more because your BF wasn't near you. Now everything depends only from you.If you'll continue flirting with other guy and as a result it will becaome a cheat, or when your Bf comes you'll just do as you always did=love him from all your heart.And don't know if you saw this TV serial Dr house, but in one quote he said and i think it's true, "some times the trueth will get you no where".Think about it, i'm sur you'll take a good decision.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2009): I would consider sexting cheating. Of course there wasn't any physcial contact between you and another, but to be talking to someone in a sense that is sexual is not okay. Honesty is a good characteristic, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him. If you didn't actually have any relations w/ this other guy then you are not really obligated to tell him. However, if you were to make a change in plans and decide to take it a step farther w/ your texting friend then your bf would have every right to know that your being intimate w/ another man. Before you reply to texts and answer phone calls from past flings, think about how you would feel if it were your bf doing that... how would you feel about it?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (28 December 2009):
Yes, it is cheating. If you think it's wrong, always ask yourself if you would like it if your boyfriend was doing it. The answer is no, you wouldn't. Don't tell him either, because if you do he'll be hurt and probably dump you, or get revenge to hurt you. And you're not as crazy about your boyfriend as you think, otherwise you wouldn't have been sexting your boyfriend. If you want your boyfriend, stop contact with the other guy you have a thing for, or you'll do something you'll really regret. Take a look at your relationship, because you're not as committed as you'd like to hope.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2009): Well i dont have a answer but i think the same thing about my wife. Im a Troop over in IRAQ and Well i Got her a cell phone and i told her that i trust her. Now im having really hurt feelings cause I think she lying to me cause i told her that she rarely texts me? i waited like two whole hours one time just to get a single text from her? and she recently gave her number to a few guys( which i know for sure over myspace) but i told her i dont want any guys texting her? but i think she was lying to me...IDK...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2009): Yes, I think that this is cheating of some sort - basically you need to ask yourself if it would hurt your boyfriend if he knew about it? I'm sure that it would - and I'm sure that he would feel betrayed. Is the other guy likely to tell your boyfriend? Do they know each other? I would advise you to learn from your mistake, not do it again, but not to tell your boyfriend about it. It's bad enough to be something to learn from, but not bad enough to risk losing your boyfriend's trust over. Don't tell him unless you risk him finding out some other way, and don't do it again.
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