A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey I'll get right to the problem and i need answers asap! please :( The guy i had a crush on started talking to me about a month ago. He said he thought i was cute and a type of girl he would date. So he asked me to come over to his place and watch a movie. I agreed, cause i had a crush on him and i wanted to meet him and hang out. We had hung out many times before but never alone and we hardly spoke then. So i was really looking forward to that. During the movie we started making out. And i liked it. We ended up making love. Now i have a few concerns.Since it was so sudden, he didn't use protection. I had my periods on the 23rd of this month and it lasted around 6 days. We had sex today (31st march). Could i still get pregnant?? I dont think he cummed inside me.Secondly, this guy can be very serious about a relation but he is also a player. His previous relationship was his first and lasted for 4 years. He was the one who got dumped in the relation because a rumor was spread about him cheating! About the player part, he flirts alot which i dont really like at all! I'm confused if i should date him. I don't like being just 'one of the girls' in his life especially after what happened today! I've told him i dont want to be used, but he didnt seem to respond to that. He just said 'ok'. What should i do?!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (1 April 2011):
 What everyone else already said...
and hon, he's not going to date you. he's going to try to get you to have sex again with him.... that's all you were was a notch on his belt.... do NOT expect him to be a boyfriend.... you will only be hurt.
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (1 April 2011):
 yes, you potentially could get pregnant and yes you could get a STD. Guys who 'forget???' to use protection are just irresponsible.
I do hope you will be OK, in the face of all this.
A player is predatory. He enjoys the chase. And can be oh so charming during the chase phase. He knows all the right phrases to touch a girl's buttons.
During the chase he will say and do what ever is required to convince his prey (a k a the girl) to be swayed into his seductive web. Finally he scores with his prey.
Success!
To score with his prey (a k a the girl) IS the aim, always.
But afterwards? It gets awkward, for
him. The whole challenge thing is no longer there. What can he do? Where's the fun for him? What can he achieve? Nothing, the prize has been awarded (to him) and it's now time for him to move on. More girls still to chase and more spiels to use to get his prey into his web/bed.
Back to his sex treadmill. Leave players to girl who just want to have fun, not a relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2011): Once a player, always a player...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2011): It's a little late to worry about being another one of his conquests now.
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A
female
reader, itsallcool +, writes (1 April 2011):
if i was you i would go talk to a doctor asp and see if they can help you it might not be to late to stop getting pregnantand i would also get tested for STD'S the sooner you get help from someone in your life the better.a friend, family/career ect.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2011): Well yes you can get pregnant. But if it was me I would be more worried about an STD. And I hate to break it to you, but if he really wanted to date you he wouldn't have tried (and succeeded) to have sex with you on the first night alone. He doesn't respect you. He isn't going to want to date you, probably have sex with you again yes, but not date. My advise is to never have sex with him again. I fell into the trap of "oh he likes me cause he wants to have sex with me" before too and it turned out he just wanted sex. Trust me it's his game and he won. The way he acted afterward is just proof of what his real intentions were. Don't have sex with any more boys until you have been in a solid relationship. And ALWAYS use protection!
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A
female
reader, frustrated1990  +, writes (31 March 2011):
Yes you can get pregnant. Also, if he's a player and had sex with you without a condom, who else has he done that with. I would go get a PAP because you dont seem to have known him that well. I know a guy that's a lot like the guy you like, and he's a great guy to be friends with. They aren't relationship kind of people. They have to find the one girl they are willing to give there lifestyles up for before they will be able to have a satisfying and healthy relationship with.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (31 March 2011):
I'd be more worried that if he was a player, he might have given you a disease or something. You should get tested.
And also never bother with him again. He seems a bit grotty to me.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (31 March 2011):
 Yes you could get pregnant, and why didn't you use protection? There is no reason to not use one, either you use protection or you dont have sex! And if you think it wasn't planned think again, this guy had plans to have sex with you when he invited you over for a movie. It's the most common move in the book. And you are just as responsible as he is when it comes to protection. No glove NO LOVE.
What to do about this guy: stop having sex with him. He is using you, you have been used, and if you want to stop being used you need to learn to say NO when he asks for sex. If you want a relationship, ask for a relationship. Don't just go along with casual sex, he hasn't even invited you on a proper date yet, you are not an official couple, and what's worse is he generally doesn't seem interested in a relationship with you!
He said you are a kind of girl he'd date. Yeah, he could, but he isn't. He hasn't dated you. Why's that you think? Because it's just words. If he wants to date you, he can date you. But telling you you're the kind he COULD date doesn't cut it.
As it is you are just one of the girls to him, and it wouldn't surprise me the least if he has several other girls like you that he doesn't date but has sex with. If you want to stop being used you have to accept that you might not get this guy. Probably you won't. If he's a player this is the way he prefers things. If he's just misunderstood, and actually likes you, he should be wanting a relationship with you, exclusive and official. So ask. Ask him to be your boyfriend, if he says no, cut the sex, cut the making out, and no more movies alone in the dark.
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