A
male
age
30-35,
*lysses
writes:I feel alienated from people because I don't believe in casual sex and favour intimacy over physical pleasure. I've been told that my views come from immaturity and that once I have sex everything will change and I will become nothing short of a sex crazed animal hell bent on getting "it" and by what ever means necessary. I want to know if this is really true. Is physical pleasure the most important thing about sex and does sex turn people, men in particular into horny, unthinking and unremorseful animals.I think that sex builds a closer connection between couples and is not a worth while activity if there is no love involved. Am i wrong? And if sex is just a physical act how does it suddenly become intimate?
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female
reader, 1sunshine  +, writes (6 October 2012):
 Sex can be a truly wonderful thing when you are in a beautiful and loving relationship. In my opinion? There is nothing better :)
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 October 2012):
 You ask: "....does sex turn people, men in particular into horny, unthinking and unremorseful animals?..."
The short answer is "Yes." The rest of your question/submittal is all about the enigma of s*x...
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A
male
reader, Dr.LanceMerryweather  +, writes (4 October 2012):
 Short - but factual- answer, you have a low sex drive.
Nothing wrong with that, it's just not how the 'average' bloke feels, that's all.
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A
female
reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth  +, writes (4 October 2012):
 I love you!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2012): I LOVE YOU! You are a breath of fresh air. I don't know what the appeal is with casual sex. from the research i've made (i'm a student in sociology) about half of the people your age regret indulging in casual sex. Some seek a deeper connection with someone but are afraid that others will want nothing more than sex so they continue on the same path.I don't like the idea of having sex just for the sake of it. It makes sex demeaning and cheap, almost clinical. It's actually very mature to want more than a warm body to sooth the ego. And most people who think it's odd or bizarre to want an emotional relationship be the source of a physical one are mostly emotionally stunted and refuse to let themselves be vulnerable with a partner. And for people around your age? It is mostly the need to fit in and not be marginalized. I've read testimonies of girls who regretted greatly and sunk into depression after having lost their virginities or becoming promiscuous because all of their friends were doing it. Most of all, don't let yourself be swayed by this mentality. It's shallow, callous and cold. Nothing to be proud of.You are a gem! And good luck to you.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (4 October 2012):
 Most of the guys who act like jerks to get laid all the time aren't doing it because sex is amazing, they are doing it for their egos.
Having sex won't turn you into a sex-crazed animal, don't worry. Sex is not just a physical act, it's not just masturbating into someone else.
Intimacy comes from something else entirely. If you have intimacy in real life, sex will feel more intimate.
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A
female
reader, AuntyAunt +, writes (4 October 2012):
 In my opinion, you are 100% correct. Your views do not come from immaturity. In-fact, those who think sex is just meant for physical pleasure are the ones with immature attitudes!
You have a view on sex which many women will respect you for. It's okay to like sex because of the pleasure, but the intimacy and strengthening of a relationship should be a more important factor. I completely agree with you.
AuntyAunt.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (4 October 2012):
There is definitely a biological need for sex that is separate from how we feel about the person we are having the sex with. That said, as the most civilized creatures on the planet, we also have evolved emotional and social needs that tie into this biological need. How these three things collide are often very different from person to person.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (4 October 2012):
 Your views are actually very mature. Sex does not turn people into sex-crazed animals!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2012): This doesn't come from immaturity. I also don't believe in casual sex - I think it's meant to be be between two people who love each other.
I'm in a long-term relationship, and sex brings us physically closer. However, I don't feel like I have to have it, and I too prefer the intimacy. Don't get me wrong, sex is great, and yes, it does create a different type of intimacy, but its not the be all and end all.
It all comes down to you as a person.
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