A
female
age
30-35,
*aybaybay_x
writes:How can I get the spark back?Me and my boyfriend are in holiday in Barcelona and he just now said to me that through out this whole trip he hasn’t been happy with me and that he thinks that whatever he does, I will never be satisfied.That’s not even true. Yes I have a hard time accepting when someone is doing something nice for me as I’m a cynical person. I don’t say OMG, you could have done better.I just say to him it seem that he’s not interested. I mean come on, he doesn’t pay attention, he hardly listens and before this trip he lied to me and I was this close to not going. I’m having a problem with opening up to him as I have lost trust in him recently.He said to me like yesterday,“wow I’m surprised we haven’t had an arguments, as you always get annoyed over the little things”We walked on the beach and I guess he was in such a rush, I wanted to just be with him under the stars, you know, romantic. I told him that as he just seemed to want to impress his friends and eat paella (As his friends told him to eat it when he goes there) and I said I just wanna lie on the beach with him. I guess what I’m trying to say is that the spark has gone for me, either that or I’m just finding it hard to be the same way I was with him. He doesn’t look at me the same way anymore, he’s not as attentive.I have been very available this past year and I’ve realised that he has kind of taken me for granted.The whole reason why we’re in Barcelona, I believe is that he felt guilty about everything that has happened this year and is trying very hard to make it work. That taken into consideration, I thought this trip was going to be about us trying to make it work. Is our relationship failing?
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female
reader, Kaybaybay_x +, writes (12 November 2010):
Kaybaybay_x is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, this is not the first time he lied to me.He lies to me for one reason and one reason only.And thats when he goes somewhere he knows I'd feel uncomfortable with. At one point he did stop going to parties and stuff because of me. I guess I know I have to loosen my grip now, Barcelona with him has shown me how clingy and manipulative I can be and I'm so glad that I'm recognizing this before it's too late.
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (8 November 2010):
 From what I have read, it seems as though he is failing as a boyfriend. Why could he not have simply set a nice and simple dinner, for example he could have had his Paella on the beach with you. It is not impossible, the problem is, he did not wish to put effort into this trip and your relationship. He lied to you before, was that the first time he lied to you?
Either he starts showing how much he wants you in his life or you leave to find someone else who strives to make sure you are happy. There are many who will show you the romance you seek.
I hope that helps.
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