A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I am not sure if upcoming engagment is a scam!My BF of 8 years knows how much I want to relocate.He has known for many years that I do not wish to stay where we live now. He said in a round about way that if I want to move I have to fly across the country all by myself to pick out a house. It is due to the fact that he is afraid to leave the dog with a care taker. The ill dog that he is obsesses about gets an IV 2x a day. Meds etc. I am not very happy about that. I even offered to pay for the vet to take him for a couple of days while we fly out together to pick out a house. No Deal.He also says that there has to be a reason for our relocation. People just don't move because they want to. People move because they have to. Like job or school.So, I called a local collage there (where my credits transfer) to see if I can take some classes. Just so he will have an excuse to tell his parents why we are relocating. So the pressure will be off him.He also said that he wants to get married before we relocate because most of our friends and family at our current location. He wants his friends and family to be there. He may have a good point with that idea.My gut feeling tells me that this could be a scam to try and keep us here. I hope not. I won't work. It is more about being with someone who isn't afraid of everything. Such as travel, adventure etc.I will break off the engagement if I feel that this is the case.He says that he is willing to move. We visited our new location last summer he was very impressed and was looking forward to the move. Now when ever I try to talk about moving he avoids the subject and or clams up. Help Cupid ! I feel like this upcoming engagement is a scam to try and prevent or delay our move! What are your thoughts? How can I be sure? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (11 February 2007):
 Whereas I can understand your boyfriend wanting to get married in his hometown where all the friends and family is close, I think you should hold off the wedding until the two of you have settled into your new home.
Moving to a new place can be stressful, especially to people who seem so tied to their hometown as your boyfriend seems to be. This could put a strain on the relationship, and it's better to find out it's not going to work out before you get married than afterwards.
The fact that your boyfriend does all he can to avoid talking about the upcoming move is not exactly encouraging for your plans. I think you need to sit him down and tell him that you are moving and the plans are not going to disappear just because he chooses to ignore them.
However, please be aware that you are asking him to choose between his hometown and you, and that he might not pick you in the end.
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