A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I had a full abdominal hysterectomy 3 weeks ago. My sister Marg is the only one of my quite large family who knew i was going for the OP. I haven't really been in contact with the rest of my family since my mum died and there was a family fall out.I gave birth to my second child 4 weeks after my mum died and my family never even acknowledged me or my child.I live 100 miles away so i'm not likely to bump into them in the shops.I was in my early 20's when mum died(my dad died when i was 4) and i really needed my older siblings support but they just never bothered even to contact me. Being the youngest and the only one who ever looked after the house - from doing the scrubbing and washing to spending my wadges on fixing it up, mum left me everything she had (including "our" house). The house was only a modest ex-council house and as my mother was a widow for many years we didn't have all the fancy renovations done to it. Regretably I sold the house a few years later even though i was approached by very respectable people to rent it of me. I really didn't need the hassle - one of my siblings threatened to set it on fire - she is 20 years older than me - i just had to let go and try to move on.The thing is my sister who i'm in contact with (who wasn't there for me back then either but we have since made up)hasn't really gave me much moral support - i think so anyway. When i came out of hospital 48 hours after surgery i phoned to say i was home and she phoned me a few days later. Then i phoned a few days later and she said she would phone at the weekend - she never did - even though i phoned and left a message to give me a ring when she got in. I never heard a word. Then she rang last Saturday and didn't even mention it - when i said about leaving the message she just said she never got it.The thing is i would listen to her problems and ring her up if i thought she was a little down and needed a chat and i always give her good advice when she needed it but i son't feel that she gives much back. When i rang her when i came out of hospital she sounded worse than i did - i was cheery saying you didn't think i'd be out this soon ect - she was in better form after talking to me than when we first went on - and believe me 3 weeks after an OP like that you are in pain, you could do with someone else doing the cheering up.I kind of feel that maby i would be better off going it alone without any of my siblings ect. - i have my husband and kids and the only time i seem to get a phonecall is when there is some kind of upsetting news.I thought i was building a relationship with my sister again but i feel maby she is not so reliable and will hurt me again (she is 13 years older than me). I do think that if ever you need some moral support is after having an OP when you are housebound and sore - and you can't even laugh - it hurts!!! I love to watch comedy but daren't put the comedy channel on just yet!!! Its not the first time my sister has behaved like this - just not bothering unless she has a problem and i'm thinking maby i shouldn't bother either as it is very hurtful to feel forgotton about - I have concerns in my own life which i dont bother her with - i wouldn't even tell her as i try to look on the brighter side and hope things get better - her behaviour has annoyed me though and has distracted me from doing and thinking more positive things. Sorry for going on about it but any comments welcome. Thanks
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female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (30 March 2009):
 She doesn't seem like she's really changed much, perhaps there are still some hard feelings? You should mention it
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