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*oveXNeverXWantedXMe
writes: My brother is 19..... He has a friend who is 19 also. I am 13. My brothers friend really likes me. He said he would go out with me now but he is afraid that my brother would kill him (Not really kill him) is he found out. My brother just like all older brothers, is protective over me. His friend is sooo sweet.He flirts,hugs me,talks to me. The other day my friend came over after school. My brothers friend was there too. We were justing playing around. And I said "Aww I think he needs someone to hold his hand." When I offerd my hand he took it. He didn`t grabb my wrist, and didn`t cup our hands. Laced hands are the most common way in showing you love someone.He laced his hnd with mine. I really like him, he really likes me. Is this illegal?D Is it okay is I got out with him,butwe dont do anything besides hug and hold hands??
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female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (21 July 2007):
 I agree with bonym. The anon person should put themselves in the position of being the parent of a 13 year old whos come home to tell them she's dating someone who's 19. I think my parents would of killed him. Once you are of a certain age then no age doesn't matter.
Right anyway...
I would leave this 19 year old lad be hun. It's a bit of a big age gap for your age. Why would a 19 year old lad wanna date a 13 year old kid. I'm sorry but that is what you are. If you were to do anything sexual then this lad could go to jail. Wait until you are legal to have sex then see if you still feel the same!
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female
reader, bonym +, writes (26 December 2006):
 The advice from the anon reader below is rather irresponsible as I think encouraging an underage girl to go out with a 19 year old is plain stupidity.
My dear listen to me, I will not patronise you, but you are very young. I am not saying that at 13 you cant like someone or maybe even love someone in that way, but what I will say is that you have to understand how the law works, and whilst I see no issue with a younger girl being with an older man, the law will see a problem with it if you were to have sex. Its not a question of whether its right or wrong, its a case of being sensible. You are a bit young, so why not wait a bit until you are a older and more mature and start dating properly? As willywomabat said, why not be mates? You can be friends, but just for the sake of all the whole legal issues, I dont think its wise to date him whilst he is 19 and you are 13. You see the age gap would not be an issue of you were 17 and he was 23 as you would BOTH be adults. Take care. xXx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2006): i think you should go for it, love doesn't have anything to do with age, if you love him and he loves you go for it and make the most of it, good luck.
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (22 April 2006):
 If he is nineteen he is probably aware that you ahve a crush on him. And to be really truthful I think that this age gap might be a little large for you to overcome. Just because he laced his fingers through yours doesn't mean that he necassarily feels anything more towards you than a fondness for his friends little sister. I am only offering you my opinion mind, it doesn't mean that I am right. I can remeber tho, how much I liked someone a lot older when I was your age and he only ever saw me as a little kid, his little friend.
Plus there is the thing with him being mates with your brother. If your brother would go nuts over this don't you think you should wait a few years longer before declaring your love for him. I hope you cope with this and it doesn't break your heart to hard!!
Big hugs and good luck.
xxx
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A
male
reader, Country Bumpkin +, writes (22 April 2006):
 It's easy for anyone to say no, the age gap is not OK but that's not what you want to hear is it. I'm no legal expert but as far as I know it wouldn't be illegal if you were to start seeing this guy, as long as sex doesn't come into it you understand.
I think you'll find that if you do start seeing him you won't just have your brother on your back trying to protect you but you also have to think about your parents and probably his parents. The longer this relationship goes on the more chance there will be of both your families getting involved. So, and you probably won't like this, you need to be up front with everybody from the start. Don't try to hide anything from anyone, talk to people, explain why you like him and why you want to start seeing him. I can guarantee they won't like it to start with but if you can show that you can be responsible and the pair of you really want to be together you should at least try. Another thing to remember is that if you start seeing him, with or without consent from your families, it will put stain on your brothers relationship with his friend, he might even be jealous. I know there are other 'agony aunts' on this site who would strongly dissagree with me on all the things I've said on this one but where I differ is that I've been in your situation so I know how you feel. I know that if you, and him, feel strongly enough about it no amount of talking by us, your brother or your parents will change your mind and in the end you will do what you want to do. That's why I strongly advise you to be up front with everyone about this.
I don't want to mither you too much but just one more thing. From what you've said it sounds like he really likes you. Be nice to him and don't mess him about, coming from a male point of view, we have feelings too. If you do get together he could well get very attached to you. I don't mean to sound rude but you are only 13 and likely to change your mind about all this in the future. If he is attached to you that will devastate him.
I wish you the best of luck, if you need to chat get in touch. Let me know how you get on.
Mx
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