A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am not sure if I should be offended or not? But I AM!!I just got a pedicure and I love it. I like the colour. It is bright and summery. My boyfriend did not share my enthusiasm. He said pedicures with any colour draw attention to feet, and he said feet are ugly. He said it doesn't matter whose feet they are, he thinks they are the most unattractive part of one's body. He also said he has yet to see any feet that aren't ugly on anyone.So, I said to him it isn't nice to call your girlfriend's feet ugly. He replied that all feet are ugly, period.I am a little offended TBH. I got a manicure which he liked. But not the pedicure. I try hard to look good for him. But when he says something like this, it makes me feel like he doesn't appreciate the effort.Why couldn't he have said, it looks nice? Just leave it at that? He has this habit of being a little too honest sometimes. And too logical. I guess it would have been nice if he saw the effort I put into it and that I liked it. He could have softened the blow a little by saying he liked it, even if he didn't. But to insinuate my feet are ugly I thought was sort of on the mean side. Do you agree? By the way, I don't think they are ugly as I don't think there is anything ugly about me at all.In the past, I do remember he told me he liked my feet and that he liked everything about me. (we women remember things!) Now, he is being so critical? I don't understand why though?I am going to an all girl's party tomorrow (we are celebrating a friend's upcoming wedding - going out on the town - dinner/dancing) and the boyfriends and husbands are not invited. So, he is seeing me get "prettied up." I don't see why he would be bothered by any of this. Am I over reacting?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 June 2017):
 I hate feet, so if he doesn't like them at least he is being honest, why would you want him to lie to you just to make you feel better?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2017): think he was just being childish you were going out with the girls and might even believe too much of what he sees on TV about what happens at hen nights and other girl nights out . hope you had a good night and i bet he got over it fast . men are just big babys but matcho
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2017): It's the OP.
Oh yes, Female Anon!
Bits of him are ugly!
His FEET is one of them!!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2017): Look nice for him !!! Do it for yourself no one else ... I am sure there are bits of him that are ugly ....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2017): I wonder if painting something on your boyfriend's attitude would make him seem or look nicer. I doubt it. Period!
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (23 June 2017):
 I'll tell you what's ugly--- The lack of a pedicure draws more attention than well groomed feet. I'm a guy and the ugliest thing is a woman's feet that have been neglected. we don't look a women's feet to see dirty nails all curled and discolored. Your boyfriend may be over-reacting to the tie and or expense of a good pedicure or he doesn't want you to be noticed by other guys but surely he cannot be serious about feet being ugly. If he is what a dolt!
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (23 June 2017):
 First of all, ENJOY how the pedicure made you feel (not his comments).
I think he is one of those people who claim they always speak the truth but he does so without consideration for anyone else. While I DO think speaking the truth is good, a little "white lie" to his GF (whom he supposedly love) would have been OK. Why? Because he SAW haw excited YOU were over having your feet look summer cute and he shouldn't have PISSED on your little cheer. Saying something like, I like the color of the nails (if he did) would have been the way to go instead of basically STOMPING on your foot. That way he could STILL have been honest without compromising himself and without hurting your feelings.
That aside, when it comes to this I would just NOT give a single F what he thinks about your feet. Sure feet aren't a very glamorous part of our bodies, neither are ears, belly buttons, knees etc. Doesn't mean you CAN NOT enjoy a good pedicure!
I agree with Ciar, when you do things like personal grooming, feet, hands, face, hair, body... WHATEVER - DO it for yourself. IF you are happy with the outcome then enjoy it.
Is this something he does often? This "being super honest in a way that makes you feel hurt"? If so, I would rethink this a bit. There has to be a reason other than "honesty" as to why he likes to take you down a peg.
Is it to make you not want to doll up for tomorrow perhaps? Or maybe... he is just an ASS from time to time?
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (23 June 2017):
 Like your boyfriend, I too think feet are ugly - especially my own. I keep them covered up as much as possible and can't stand anyone touching them. I won't touch other people's feet and don't like looking at them - especially if someone has long or misshapen toenails, regardless of whether they are painted in pretty colours. It is a personal thing. I rarely see feet I don't dislike. I do, however, understand that not everyone feels the same as I do.
Your boyfriend liked your manicure but, now that you have been in your relationship for a while, feels comfortable enough with you to admit he thinks feet are ugly. It is nothing personal against YOUR feet. Stop making something out of it that he never intended. He just does not like feet. Period. Respect his feelings. Have a pedicure if you must but don't demand he likes it if feet are just not his thing.
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female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (23 June 2017):
 If all feet are ugly then why do many men have foot fetishes?? Your boyfriend may not like feet, but plenty of other men do and they would actually swoon if you had a pedicure and had your toenails painted! Its all about what a person likes or dislikes. Call your boyfriend blunt or very honest, I think what he said was mean. I had an ex husband (notice I say EX). He could never compliment me, always had to run me down, make me feel badly about myself. He got the boot.
Think over very carefully if you really want a man like this in your life. He'll wear you down over time. They don't feel good about themselves and don't want you to either.
Any man who has been around ladies know that we love to primp and preen and do things that make us feel good about ourselves. Its feminine and its sexy to have pretty painted toenails and wear some cute sandals or some peep toe high heels..wow! Most men will look twice, especially if you have a nice tan to go with the bright nail polish.
Don't keep someone in your life that drags you down sweetie. Do what makes you happy and feel good. If your guy doesn't like it, maybe HE needs to go, not the nail polish.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 June 2017):
 It was a mean thing to say. Your boyfriend is just a mean guy. I am telling you this bluntly, so that you can open your eyes to this fact and not go around fooling yourself that this will change.
I dated a man like that once. He was always full of critique and hidden offenses and snide remarks designed to put me down and make me feel like shit about myself. He would say things like how his family had a difficult time understanding what I was saying because English isn't my mother tongue (and just today I was actually told by a British man that my english is better than his, lol). So that was just BS he said to make me feel like crap. And like he insinuated that his friend hadn't had a good time when we all hung out once, because apparently I had made them feel weird by the way I behave (not even telling me what I apparently did wrong). I later asked those friends, and it turns out it was all just lies.
Anyway, this is such a typical thing that he would have also said to me. Like feet are ugly, all feet (including mine). Or that people who dress like that are whores (and then insinuating the clothes I was wearing), camouflaging it like a "general" statement.
But sheesh, it's the same as telling your bald boyfriend you find hairless heads disgusting! Or telling your blue eyes boyfriend you prefer brown eyes. OMG. It's just something he said to make you feel like shit. Who says something like that?
He could have just not said anything. Or said it's nice. No need for insults. But no, he said your feet are ugly (and camouflaged it as "all feet") and that you shouldn't do anything to draw attention to them.
If your boyfriend has a tendency to be "too honest" like you said, I think it's time you face it: unless he has a diagnosis as highly functional autism, then your boyfriend is just a mean spirited person. Yes, this is cause for concern. Because what will happen if you stay with him is that your self esteem will be shot to little pieces and you will feel worthless and like crap, and he will never stop insulting you, a little bit here, a little bit there. And you end up trying harder and harder to look good for him (you shouldn't be trying AT ALL, a good and loving boyfriend finds you beautiful no matter what and TELLS YOU so).
I don't think mean people like this are worth hanging on to. But I know it takes time to see the truth about someone you love and care about. I tried to break up with my mean boyfriend several times, but he always apologized so profusely and I stayed for too long. Only now, years later, do I see just how bad a wound he left in my self esteem. So I encourage you to get away from this self proclaimed "logical and honest" man, and find yourself someone who is caring and loving instead.
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (23 June 2017):
 He's not saying your feet are ugly - he just doesn't like feet. I hate feet - admittedly wouldn't say my boyfriend's feet are ugly, but I don't like looking at feet even with a pedicure.
He was a little rude, but he hasn't got a foot fetish (quite the opposite), so the pedicure wouldn't do anything for him and should only be done for you.
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female
reader, muchagem1981 +, writes (23 June 2017):
 One thing I've learned being in quite a few long term relationships is that when one gets hung up on the opinions of their mates in terms of looks etc, they lose the joy they have in treating themselves. You were so happy with the pedi and it probably made you feel so fresh and lovely until he showed you that he doesn't appreciate it. It sounds like he just simply has an overall deterrence from feet and it's not you personally he's not thrilled with. I say that you tell yourself it was something that made you feel good and to not let him spoil the fun. If it's not isolated to just your feet and he's hyper critical all the time, that's another story. Does he say things like this often about other superficial aspects of you? Does he compliment you otherwise?
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female
reader, Ciar +, writes (23 June 2017):
 A bit, though his comment was rude and I'm guessing he's only 'logical' when it comes to how other folks might feel.
Your manicures and pedicure and all the other grooming habits should really be FOR YOU, not anyone else. When I get a haircut or a manicure I like then I'm happy. I don't even ask what others think of it.
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