A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm having trouble deciding if my mom is in a bad relationship or I'm just too sensitive.She started seeing this guy Tim last year and at first he seemed okay. Kind of loud and rude, but fine. I never liked him much but he seemed to make her happy.At the beginning of this year they had an argument and it got nasty. I came home from work to find him screaming at her, calling her a "slut" and a "c*nt" among other things. He was in a rage like I've never seen, getting in her face, screaming insults at the top of his lungs, and this went on for a good 30-40 minutes before he finally left our house. I thought that was the last of him.Unfortunately mom is very forgiving and he was back within a couple weeks. The guy's been unemployed for a year and a half now, he drinks multiple beers every single day, and he is at our house almost 7 days a week, even though he has his own. He is still quick to get angry although I will admit he hasn't gotten as bad as he did months ago. Still, he puts her down and talks to her like she's stupid. He makes rude comments about almost everyone and his sense of humor is just not my taste. He never takes her anywhere, they sit at home every night and watch TV. My mom is lonely and she's told me that, and I think it's the only reason she keeps him around.I am a very accepting person and in my 17 years of existence, he is the first person I have truly not liked. Usually I am really easygoing but this guy just makes me angry.I don't know what to do. I think she needs to be with someone, but I wish it wasn't him. I find everything about him repulsive. I'm angry at him for the way he treats her, I don't like the way he's sometimes rude to me, and his personality is just obnoxious. I don't think he's necessarily abusive but my god I hate him and I wish he wasn't around. Or at least not 7 days a week. I never get any privacy anymore. He's even around when my mom's not home with us.I tried talking to her about it once and it caused a fight between us. I don't want to damage my relationship with her but this man is seriously coming between us and making me lose respect for her, as well as feel angry and upset in my own home, day after day.What do I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sunnycomet +, writes (20 October 2009):
 Unfortunately this sounds like a very unhealthy relationship for your mom. Try talking to her in a soothing voice, making her angry will only get her to be protective of him. You need to be on her side. Hopefully she will see sense soon and get rid of him.
Good Luck!
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