A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex split up with me 2 months ago. I didnt want it to end but he felt we were fighting too much and needed to not live together anymore. I wanted to work on things and he agreed to date but us live apart for a while and work on our problems, but after the initial two weeks this went sour and he told me he didnt know how he felt. I have given him distance, and he has kept me hanging with small gestures, saying he still has feelings for me and so on. I eventually asked him last week if he was happier. His response was that he was happier without the fights. I said if he was happier id acccept it and we could just be friends as I just wanted to see him happy. After i did this within ten minutes he had sent me a message telling me he HAD been thinking about us and the future, but at the minute he couldnt see past the problems. Following this i had started to feel better about myself, went out with friends and removed myself from the sofa and finally got back into my studies (i had been keeping myself in the house and on the sofa till then), he has hardly spoke to me but in the last few days he had started engaging in friendly chat, and came round today to drop a dvd off and was friendly again and had clearly got dressed up and did his hair was wearing aftershave. when he left my feelings were really aparent i absolutely love this guy.I have embraced a different attitude since the break up thinking more positively and attempting to not get so wound up about things and i feel like i could make the relationship with him work, but i darent approach the subject after hes made it clear hes not interested in a relationship at the minute. From his actions today and recently do I stand a chance with this guy, is it just the fighting that caused us problems and hes scared it will go back to that. Or is it as people keep telling me that he doesnt love me and is simply just stringing me along incase he wants sex in the future.
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female
reader, DESTINY 23  +, writes (20 October 2009):
 He doesnt like the fighting ? get the ---- out of here!!!
Id kick his fake lieing ass out of there. See you are nice and hes playing games. Men are ---holes and he is like I dont like the fighting and I miss you and want you back but I dont want a relationship . OH ok jackasss you want to have me but not a relationship? Umm so im supposed go along with that. Wrong !!! move on and dont talk to him at all. Endless he wants to fix your car ,walk your dog ,and buy you clothes . That will give him a taste of his owm medicine called ( free service with no strings attached )NSA.
A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (20 October 2009):
 When I read your question, and especially the line 'do I stand a chance with this guy' I felt like asking you why are you so 'desperate' for someone who has clearly pushed you away? He seems like he doesn't know what he wants and is keeping you there just in case. As soon as he sorts himself out and finds someone else he'll let you go.
He's got so much power over you and you shouldn't allow that. Your relationship ended and it's over. He's giving you false hope and wasting your time. I honestly don't know why he's coming around and still talking to you but it is possible he enjoys the ego trip, the attention and the knowledge that he can still get you weak at the knees. Don't give him that satisfaction. You're much better than that.
If he was interested in working things out but was apprehensive because of what happened in the past he would tell you that, and not string you along hoping you'd read his mind or something. Guys are direct, if they want something they'll either tell you or show it to you by their actions. He's not doing any of that.
You say he's made it clear he doesn't want a relationship at the moment...so what don't you get? He doesn't want a relationship and you do and so that's the end of that. Don't waste your time with him, he'll leave as soon as he's found something else to occupy him.
You need to think of your own emotions and you need to protect yourself. Ask yourself what you want and can he give you that. If he can't then it's time to move on and let him go.
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