A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:here i am again agony aunts and uncles for your advice, i have been with my man for over 2 years now and its LDR, but thats soon coming to a end cause i am due to move up to be nearer him and eveuntally move in together, as we have kids from our exs and we want to move them in gradually not one big step that would cause problems with them, so we are doing everything right. but there is just one thing i have this gut feeling there is something he his not telling me not sure what it is but its something, and dont know why i have this gut feeling, i have confronted him about my gut feeling and he said there is nothing to tell, we go out odd weekend with a few more couples and i am not sure about one of the girls who goes out with us she talks to me makes me feel welcome in the group and is friendly with me, but i dont know why but i feel something has gone on with them, i dont know why i feel this cause they dont flirt he stares at her a few times but he also stares at me, i feel like asking her if anything has ever gone on between them in the past cause my man has known this gilr and her man a long time, but dont know how to bring the subject up, i have asked him my man and he has said no its been plotonic friendship in all the time he has know her, she is a nice enough lass but he only likes her in a friend way, so why am i so paranoid of this women, am i putting things into my head about him having something he his not telling me and then putting that something has happened in the past with this girl, i dont know why i am thinking all this its so upsetting, i trust my man 100% and i know he has been truthful from when we first metand committed from the start he has told me that, so why am i driving myself crazy with all this, should i have another chat with him and tell him what i am thinking or will that drive him away and i dont want to do that, or do i ask this girl that it has been only friendship between them and nothing else i am so confussed, and sometimes i get the feeling he dont want me to move up nearer to him, yet he talks about our future of being together as permenant ,please any advice its not good when you brain goes into overdrive and its making me poorly thinking all this stuff...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2011): THANKS FOR YOUR REPLYS i have had a long think and you are right if i dont have any reason for all what i said, best to just drop it all and act like a adult, really cause thats a thing you do when your a teen, been the jealous type wondering if your boyfriend facies other women.i am a adult and we are just all friends, and i know my man has been truthful since meeting me, and you are right denise, i have to stop pulling suspicious thoughts out of thin air, and it does gnaw on my mind, and then i think there is no way my man would let me move near him if he had something to hide, or if he had something with this certain woman, and he would not introduce me to her and her partner, and his other friends would he, so yes i am just going to get on with life.i think whats wrong with me is that i am scared to be happy.My last relationship left me paranoid, because he was the sort of man who lusted after other women. Let me know it too, but the man i am with now he knows of my past, and tells me he his not my ex, he his a one women man. He said once with someone dont go looking else where. Told me there is not another me, so i should really move to be with him and be happy, so thanks again for your replies.i must say once you get something in your mind its not nice, i am due to go out with our friends soon, and instead of watching my man and watching her if there looking at each other, i am going to just enjoy myself, and that kiss we all give at the end of the night out, not be watching how he kisses her, and she kisses him, its just a good bye kiss friends give i need to grow up and stop this stupid thinking.
A
female
reader, nanabear456 +, writes (3 October 2011):
 whatever you do just dont ask the girl because she might tell him that you asked her and he may think thats creepy. just talk to him about it but dont make it sound like he is a criminal just gently say that it is just a little hard because you want to be 100% sure that you can be comfortable with him
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (3 October 2011):
 You don't know why you think there may or might have been something between them.
If you have asked him twice about this, and he has told you she's no more than a platonic friend, I'd advise you to drop it.
I realize it's tempting for you to keep gnawing at your suspicions, but if he has always been straightforward and truthful with you no good will come of asking him and tormenting yourself yet again.
You're going to be moving much closer to where he lives, so focus on that and see how things go.
Don't pull suspicions out of thin air! IF you should at any time have REAL (as opposed to imaginary) reasons to think something's not right, THEN is the time to confront him - otherwise, LEAVE IT ALONE!
Good luck.
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