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female
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*harida
writes: dear cupid.im involved with a man for a year and a half now.last year i found out that he was still in contact with the mother of his first child.i also asked him why she keeps phoning him when the child they have is 18 years old with his own cellphone.he just replied that she is obsessed with him.we also have a 3 month child together.my pregancy was unexpected as mu eldest son is 7 and i was preventing at the time.we live togther. plse assist .i think is is cheating.lying and that i must leave him.on the other hand i hope you can advise me as to what to do.help.ThaksSharida Reply to this Question
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female
reader, jezibelinhell +, writes (14 July 2006):
 Normally I'd say that you can't expect parental communication to cease on a child's 18th birthday. There are still parenting issues such as education etc. that would need to be discussed between your man and his ex. HOWEVER, since by his own admission she is "obsessed" with him, this is definitely an issue. No female that has a romantic interest in your man should be contacting him...period! Also it seems as if you have a gut feeling that he has been less than honest with you and perhaps unfaithful as well. In my own meandering experience instincts are never to be ignored. Every time I've ignored my gut feelings, I've been sorry later. Since you have a child with him, I suggest you first try and discuss your feelings about the situation with him. If that doesn't work, maybe some relationship counceling could help. You didn't mention how you currently feel about your man...perhaps you're already over it. If so, talking, even in a professional setting won't help. Good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2006): They have a child together. Whether that child is 18 or 38 they will always have a special bond. I think it is healthy that they stay in contact with each other. Platonically of course. Other than her calling him, what concrete proof do you have that he is doing anything wrong?
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