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female
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*ickyrobz
writes: hey!im having a problem with my boyfriend. the past few months hes been really odd with me and i get shouted at for doing almost nothing! on saturdays we normally spend the day together and go somewhere but today i got a text saying that he was going to see his friend to play pool. so i phoned him and asked if i could go with them so i wasnt bored and he said 'my mate doesnt want you to go' so i thought ok and i made arrangements to meet my friend. as i was walking towards the bus stop i could see my boyfriend and a different friend of his so i confronted him and asked why his other friend could go but not me! and she then said 'shut up and get on another bus!' this really annoyed me but i didnt say anything. on the bus, he then said il meet you at 6 and wel do something. its now nearly 7.15 and hes had me waiting all this time for him! im sick of waiting around and been second best to everything! but i don't want to leave him because i love him! please help me!thnx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (4 June 2006):
 Let's recap:
He ditched you because his friend said he should.
He met another (female) friend instead.
The friend was rude to you in front of your BF.
Your BF didn't support or stand up for you.
He stood you up for your 6pm date.
You feel second-best to everything in his life.
...and you "love him"... why?
It's not all that often that I have to kick someone in the backside to make them see how badly they're being treated, but, dear, you're one I have to put on the Big Boot for.
Your "boyfriend" cares nothing about your feelings, and I'd say there's every chance that he's seeing this other "friend" as more than a friend.
He's letting his friends control his social life, and those friends are edging you out of the picture. In other words, you're getting nothing from this but heartache.
Please try to see this from an outsider's point of view. The guy who used to be your boyfriend is basically ditching you every chance he gets. You're wasting any feeling on him.
Time to move on...
A
male
reader, richierich79 +, writes (4 June 2006):
 From a males perspective, I would say he is feeling smothered. Perhaps the free time he needs will help him see the true direction of your relationship. You can't force any one into love, but you can push them out. I do not think he should have lied about getting together. If he makes a promise or just plans, he should be decent enough to keep them. Respect is part of a healthy relationship, if you respect his time with others, he should respect the commitments he makes to you as well. Just try asking him what he needs and make sure he hears what you need as well. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, matron +, writes (3 June 2006):
 Hi, have i got this right, your b/f's friend at the bus stop was a girl? and she spoke to you badly in front of him and he said and did nothing? You and him need to have a long talk about your so called relationship ask him what it is he wants from you, dont be a convenient g/f, there for when he wants you, you have a life go and live it, dont put it on hold for anyone. If he wont talk to you about his problem cos he's obviously got one,play him at his own game, dont always be waiting in the wings when he decides he wants to see you, start making a life with your friends go out and enjoy yourself, let him be the one wondering what you are doing for a change and if he decides its you he wants to be with let him prove it. you are worth more than being treated like a doormat. Be happy x
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