A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My friend with benefits knows i like him more than what we have we talked about things a while back he said he doesnt feel the same way but at the weekend we did a lot more than usual and he made a point of wanting to hold my hand and wanted to keep kissing me it was different to how he usually is am i reading things wrong does he have feelings for me now or was he just being a bloke
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2019): My speculation is that it's just wishful thinking on your part. If you want to keep the sex coming, you've got to butter-up the source. He knows you like him; but if he doesn't make it extra-special you'll end it in frustration, or boredom.
Sex is never a good bargaining-chip. If one well dries-up, you'll just find another. You're manipulating him with sex; but he's using your emotions to keep it coming.
He's bribing you to keep you open to the deal.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2019): Does he know you're seeing other people? And will end it if you find someone willing to have a relationship with you? And is he seeing other people? It's tough to allow oneself to develop feelings if you know the relationship isn't serious, is mostly about casual sex and one or both partners are seeing other people.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (9 May 2019):
 Why even waste your time?
You should have to CONVINCE someone to date you, or wait for them to decide whether they like you or not. You either do or you don’t, there’s nothing to consider in a situation like this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2019): OP here. at the start we didnt have sex then we did then he said we shouldnt so we stopped but he changed his mind and wanted to have sex yes he might not be getting it off other people so wanted it off me but its his behaviour from before, he knew how i felt and kept everything more 'controlled' so we hardly kissed never held hands rarely had sex but now he seems to not get enough of me. He said he liked me and might 'grow' some feelings that was about 4 month ago. A couple of week ago i said it wont be more than friends and i was too good for him he agreed im too good for him and ive been leaving him to decide if he wanted to see me and i have said no sometimes i just wondered if hes seen and knows that i wont be around forever hes started to change but i am prepared for him to not have the same feelings i have for him. im not putting my life on hold for him i am seeing other people just not in the same way as i am with him but if someone wants to get serious with me he knows ill end it with him.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 May 2019):
 I am afraid that you are reading too much into things.
FWB does not mean that there can't ever be moments of camaraderie or tenderness. Many men enjoy having the " GF experience " where they get the all attention and affection they want when they want, at their terms and conditions- and that's it; still no committment, no emotional depth, no shared vision for the future. He could hold your hand for hours and hours , to the point of stopping your blood flow !,
and it still would not signify anything ,if he does not want to date you officially, or to be in a comitted relationship with you.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (9 May 2019):
Yes, you’re reading into things.
He KNOWS you like him. If he doesn’t do anything about it, then this isn’t progressing anywhere. I don’t see anything here to suggest that he likes you, it IS possible to show affection to a FWB without there being anything deep behind it. Don’t get your hopes up.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2019): OP, Honeypie just wrote the perfect answer. I'd take her advice. She is bang on.
This relationship is never going to be what you want it to be and this man will never change or committ to you. It will only get harder and harder. He's just keeping you sweet to keep the sex coming. That's it. He's playing you. Using you. It doesn't feel good, does it?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 May 2019):
 LISTEN to what he said.
He likes you enough to boink you and hold your hand. But not enough to want to DATE you or BE with you in a relationship.
FWB have an expiration date. And that is WHEN one of the two people develop feelings. You are at that point now.
You want more, but are willing to settle for this "fwb" in HOPES that he might change his mind and feel the same.
He probably won't and you'll be wasting your time on this guy instead of meeting someone who DOES want to BE with you, not just share some intimacy occasionally.
I think the hand holding and kissing is JUST him ensuring you will stick around to provide company and sex when it suits him.
Sorry.
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