A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:im worried im being used. my male friend had a lot of personal trauma last year and i helped him through it. whenever we have breaks at work im always paying. its costing 25 pounds a day as he always wants to go in coffee shops like starbucks etc. im getting resentful because i have been a true friend to hima nd last month lent him 50 pounds-not this month hes had another 80 pounds-none of this gets returned either. im so giving and not selfish and have been nicer than a lot of people would be yet he acts like its normal and im not doing anything big. im upset that he doesnt value me as he says he does to make me keep paying etc-why is he doing this-is he really a friend-i do like him and dont want this to cause friction
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2010): £2 a day on starbucks??? That's alot if coffee& cake!
It's sounds like he is using u Hun. You are obviously a very caring person but please stand up for yourself. Tell him you will go halves if ge suggests starbucks or whatever. Just don't continue to help him out.
Good luck
LB
A
female
reader, ShannShann +, writes (16 May 2010):
Unfortunatly you need to just say look can you not pay for a change? And when he asked for money say you can't as you need money yourself as you have been giving him money when you shouldn't have. Lie abit. I know its selfish but he will feel bad and things will even out. Hope I helped.S'f :)
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (16 May 2010):
 "Sorry, I'm tapped out, my bank account is overdrawn and I simply don't have the money for Starbuck, or any money to loan you."
Why does he take it? Because you seem to be giving it to him. Perhaps he is a user, an energy and financial vampire disguised as a needy friend. Stop funding him, you can keep on giving him moral support, and see how long it takes before he is off to the next person with cash and a soft spot for sad stories.
There's a difference between being a good friend and being a doormat. You're the one who has to draw the line and say, "enough!" Be strong.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 May 2010):
You're a very kind woman, but there comes a time where you have to stop giving to ensure that you're not used and abused. This guy has been through trauma, but he's becoming far too reliant on you for money. You mustn't continue to give. He has a job, and he has his own money.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 May 2010):
 But why do you keep giving him money if he never pays you back ?
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