A
male
age
51-59,
*ohnn
writes:is my fiance jeleous of my 9 year old daughter from a previous relationship?my fiance has given me an ultimatum to either stop seeing my 9 year old daughter or its over. I see her just once a week via court order and they do not get on. my daughter has told court she wants to see me at my parents house cos she doesnt like my fiance and is sick of her telling her off. normally i would tell my fiance where to go but i also have a 1 year old child with her and another on the way! apparently i am leaving her and the kids out by spending this one day a week with my 9 year old! im in a hell of a position and cant find a way out?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2007): What a selfish person your fiance is!!! How would she feel if ye split up and you were with a new partner and she was giving you the same ultimatum as her about not seen your daugher that you have with your fiance??? How would she feel then?!?! I bet it would be a different story then
My partner has an 8 y/o son and he see's him twice a week, he comes to stay over every Friday nite and I've never had any problems with that!!! Yeah some times I'd love to have we/nds to ourselves so we can go away but at the same time I love my partner too much to say anything about his son and I wouldn't either!!!
Its not the childs fault that your fiance doesn't like/is jealous of your daugher!! No matter what happens your daughter is your flesh and blood and u will always be there for her!! If she put her effort in getting to kno the child instead of hating her she'd do herself the world of good!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2007): Tell your fiance that this child is your flesh and blood and isn't going anywhere!! This really makes my blood boil over! Poor child wants and needs to be with you for ONE DAY! and she is up in arms about that! Tell her to grow up and stop acting like a child. It is hard enough for kids these days without the added bonus of someone like her. Have a good chat with her (it doesn't sound like she is the type to listen) and point out that you two have a child, and one on the way, who get most of your time and you HAVE TO spend some time with your other child. Poor little mite, she must feel heartbroken. And don't allow your fiance to be horrible to your child, stop that straight away. Be strong. If you are given an ultimatum then take some time out on your own, and let her know you are not going to be bullied into this one.
Take care xx
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A
female
reader, DEBS83 +, writes (15 March 2007):
 hi id tell your parnter were to go at the end of the day she is your child and your partner will just have to like it or lump it when i was 10 my dad marrid a woman who had 2 kids of her own and was jelous of me and my sister when there got marrid she told him he couldnt see us any more for a while he rufused to listen to her but in the end he did wat she said now were older and got kids of our own he wants to now but we have no intrest in wat he as to say i want you to think about this as its not very nice for your child to go through this hope you work it out good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2007): Say to her how would she feel if she was the mother of the 9 year old daughter and heard that you were told not visit her?!!? I think she would see it differently then!!!
But I agree with dollparts - get joint custody of your kids with her! My partner has an 8 year old son too and he sees him twice a week and I have no probs with that!! There's no point me making a huge song & dance about it cos no matter what - he is his son and will always come first....
You have to what is right by your kids - with her or your ex!!!
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A
female
reader, dollparts  +, writes (15 March 2007):
 I say leave the fiance if you leave your 9 year old it will destroy your life so you need to get joint custody of your kids with her and leave her because people like this wont change believe me
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