A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I started talking to this man on the internet in November and we seemed to have alot in common....He felt he met the person of his dreams. I liked him very much but he lived in Florida. He decided life is too short and since we had so much in common he wanted to come here. I had told him more then once I would like to meet him first to see if we felt the same when we meet. He was determined we would like each other and he completely moved here. Well when he got here...I could tell immediately I was not attracted to him....He is a very nice man. But I am not happy with him here. I told him that after a few days... Then I thought I was being unfair. He cried. He is older then me, makes me feel guilty. I now do not know what to do. I need help...
View related questions:
the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2007): You cannot fake attraction. This man is very, very unwise. That alone would be a deal killer for me. What sort of man pulls up stakes and moves to be with someone he has never met? This judgment error on his part is I'm sure just the tip of the iceburg. Stick with your gut feeling on this one. Do NOT date this man out of feelings of responsibility or sympathy or whatever.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2007): You told him what you wanted but he still forced himself on you. This seems a very manipulative thing to do because he should have respected your caution. Caution is healthy, or at least some - even though as you say, life is short. It is also too short to make enormous mistakes and you saw this one coming. He should have respected your request. If you had started a relationship with him you could have found yourself emotionally manipulated even more and I think you know that. It is instinctive. Next thing you know he could have stopped you seeing your friends, or forced you to change other things about your life for him by making you feel guilty. Don't feel bad, you have done the right thing. Why not go on a trip to get away from it all for a while. Have no contact with him, don't be guilty about it. You are not responsible for anybody but yourself and nobody sensible needs a needy person. It is not atractive and there are usually other issues behind these people which can be hard to cope with and sometimes extreme.
...............................
A
female
reader, chachacha  +, writes (15 March 2007):
He has made rather a mistake and you're not responsible for his mistake.
It's not totally clear from your message, but he didn't move in with you did he? You say: "I am not happy with him here"?
If he has moved in with you, you'll have to ask him to leave. You shouldn't have let someone you've never met move in with you and hopefully you'll never do it again, but just ask him to leave.
Chalk it up to experience. It takes a long time to work out whether someone is right for you, and you cannot do it on the internet only!
...............................
|
