A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've read questions on here about this type of situation before, potentially one or other opposite sex best friends falling for the other. The questions is how easy it is to tell without, if getting it wrong, making your friend feel awkward.I think my female best friend may be crushing on me. I thought so before - in fact, nearly all our mutual friends thought so - but she denied it. Last night, round at hers, I was on her sofa, she on her chair and she suddenly came over to the sofa and curled up next to me, with her head on my chest and her arm wrapped round me. I asked if she was OK and she said she was fine, she just wanted a hug. We'd been out earlier and so I know she was in a good mood with nothing worrying her that might mean she needed a hug for comforting.We sat like that for 15 minutes, just chatting gently. Because of how she sat, my arm round her shoulder rested on her hip and our heads were fairly close together (we were mostly talking 'out front' because of that, but when we occasionally looked at the other our faces were very close). When we left, she seemed somehow 'clingier'?I don't do that with any other female friends.I'm worried the lines may blur again and I don't want to make things awkward for her. She may just want to be very touchy-feely (which is what caused everyone to think she liked me more in the past - she stopped when I mentioned it). If I ask her flat out, she may be so embarrassed and I'd hate to upset her (she's been single for almost 5 years now and it does get to her).
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (13 October 2011):
 How many women do that sort of thing with their female best friends? Not that many!
That being said, she might like things where they are. She might like that attention and closeness without wanting to push things beyond friendship.
What you didn't mention is whether or not you want things to be more than friends. She may in fact like you, but there's this whole game of hiding feelings and such. This is the stuff soap operas and TV dramas are made of. Why else does it take 3 or 4 seasons of "will-they, won't they" sexual tension to keep things spicy??
Before trying to figure out where she's at, you need to know where you're at yourself. That's much more important than trying to figure out where she is at. Then act on whatever you're hoping this relationship will turn out.
If you want it to be more, then keep that in mind.
If you only want a friendship, then enjoy what you have and be happy.
This whole ritual is one of the mysteries of love...such excruciating pain and happiness.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 October 2011):
 I'm betting she just wants needs a bit more comforting/hugging/affection.. and you are the perfect mate to do it in her eyes...
but I also think that although it may upset her if you are not inclinded to think of her romantically at all you need to make sure she knows this... do it privately and not when she's needing hugging...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2011): I think she just cares for you very much as a dear friend. Everyone needs a hug and it's great to have a close friend to share one with fromm time to time. Don't spoil a lovely friendship by over-thinking this - I feel she'd be deeply hurt if you misinterrupted things. She has told friends there is nothing more so leave it at that.
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A
female
reader, cmarieky +, writes (13 October 2011):
It could be she's lonely and does want comfort. Many single females do that to their males friends. When I was single I slept with my male best friend without the sex and cuddling. I honestly saw no harm. But u do need to make it clear without hurting her feelings which may be hard bc if she does like u then that would feel like rejection. If u can't handle verbally telling her then ask her advice on another woman u find attractive and ask as a friend what do u think of her for me. Show interest to other women or your own and just say ur lucky to have such a great woman and a decent group of friends. Don't ask her flat out ask subtly.
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