A
male
age
30-35,
*h1p01
writes: Me and my gal have been going out for 2 months today. She is my sisters friend, I am her first boyfriend, she is very innocent, and a virgin.We have neither talked about or been intimate. It stops at light kissing.What I am asking is when is too soon to be intimate? My ex-GF jumped my bones 3 days in, but I know that isn’t the norm. I don’t need to have sex with her. In fact I have no problem waiting as long as it does. I respect her, and what makes her special to me is the connection we have and the happiness we share.I only ask because I don’t want to end up missing her hints that she wants more. She is the type that will maybe hint a bit, but never be blunt and bring the topic up. So what kind of signs/hints might she send my way if she does have any amount of loving on the mind.Sometimes I think she wants more than kisses. Maybe I am just reading her wrong. Like we will be sitting on her bed or on the couch and I will have her wrapped up in my arms cuddling he and rubbing her arm or shoulder innocently and I might just rest my hand on her knee or stomach and it almost seems like she will shift a little to 'open' herself up by sliding her knees apart or if its on her stomach, she might slouch down a bit to reveal more 'lower' area. She also seems flaunt her bum at me subtly. Like when we skype or are just sitting on her bed talking. If she reaches over to get something behind her or on a shelf it seems like she goes the long way so she can arch her bum up into the cam or towards me. Like I said, I could just be over analyzing things. She has also said many times things like my parents have a dinner tonight do you want to come over and hang out/watch a movie we will be alone. Or when I come home to visit she asks what I want to do and I things like, well first im going to viciously attack you with hugs and kisses cus I missed you so much, then we can do whatever. She will say something like, well we could stay a while in my dorm room then go out and get some food and then grab the last train out of the city.What do y’all think? Am I just imagining these things, or do you thing she might want more. Not saying full out sex, but maybe a bit more touchy feely? I am skeptical of weather they are signals cus she also occasionally says she likes where we are, but I don’t know if that means she wants everything to stay where it is, or if she is comfortable with the rate we are progressing and is currently feeling out the next step. If these are not signals, then what are some signals I might pick up on if and when she is ready for more?Just looking for a little help because I was raised being told that intimacy was hand in hand with marriage. I realize this is not the case very often any more though. And with my last relationship, she was the one who made it loud and clear that she wanted it (aka jumping me day #3).Thanks guys
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kissing, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, KittieS  +, writes (26 October 2011):
 I'm so glad things worked out for you, you sound like a lovely young man your lady is lucky to have you!
Wishing you all the best in your relationship!
A
male
reader, ch1p01 +, writes (23 October 2011):
ch1p01 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Just thought I should thank you all. Came home from school this weekend to visit. Turns out I was right. She defiantly was comfortable with me to move to that next level. Feels really good to be that close to someone and be trusted by someone and know that what you are sharing is out of respect and care for each other and not lust.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 October 2011):
 Sounds like she is receptive to more activity.
And you do sound like a gem... have you ever talked to her about it???
I would think that if you want this to be a long term serious relationship that the lines of communication need to be open and established.. this might be a good place to start...
do not bring it up while cuddled up on the couch... maybe take a nice walk... hold hands and discuss where the relationship is going... both emotionally and physically...
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (13 October 2011):
That is a lot of questions which means you need more experience with your girl friend. Talk to her more but if she is a virgin she may not even know that she is sending the signals. It wont make sense to give much answers because every girl is different. Men tends to notice more "physical" activities by a girl, where are girls look for more "mental" connections.
You ever hear the saying, "Before I want to be intimate with you , I want to feel close to you". And the guy replies, "you will feel close to me when you are intimate with me".
Don't worry about it too much, I think that when the time is right you will feel it with her and you will see it in her eyes.
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A
female
reader, KittieS +, writes (13 October 2011):
This a lovely post, very sincere and honest.
From what you have written I think she is very subtle trying to guide you into being a little more hands on.
Bending over in a seductive way, moving so your hand is suddenly closer to her breast, moving her legs open ever so slightly - yes all signs!
Here is my suggestion, next time it happens and your snuggled up when she moves, move you hand ever so slightly closer - see what she does. If she moves away then she's not ready. If she makes any umm, purring, or her breathing changes then your getting a green signal. Take it slowly, though, judge each situation as it comes and if your really worried there is nothing wrong with whispering is this ok - of course if she continues to kiss you at the same time, runs her hands on you it most certainly is ok!
You sound like a very respectful young man, and I hope you will both be very happy together.
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