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Is my ex toying with my emotions?

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 June 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 June 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, *mayknow1980 writes:

I broke up with my partner of 5years in January 2009. We have a 3yr old daughter together. Our relationship was good to begin with but within the first year it had begun to show major cracks. He was constantly out at the pub or arranging to meet up with his friends, we did hardly anything together as a family. We began to argue alot and then the arguments started to get physical. He never actually hit me bit he would push me around or pull me by my hair. We finally broke up.

He still has regular contact with our daughter as he is a good dad and dotes on her. Recently we have been getting on as friends as I think this is the best outcome for our daughter. He has come to my house for dinner and stayed the night so that he could wake up and be with our daughter on fathers. We've slept together 3 times since we broke up and im now really confused. He talks about not wanting to be with anyone else but that at the moment we both have issues we need to sort out, he has also said that he does'nt want to have children with anyone else. I still have feelings for him and I think he knows this. Do you think he's just playing on my emotions and using me for sex? Or do you think he still has feelongs for me?

Im so confused....

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A female reader, mitta United Kingdom +, writes (22 June 2009):

He might still have feelings for you and be starting to realise what he is missing now... Or it could just be sex..I cant really comment here as I dont know what is going on in his head.

All I will say is that you should both definitely work things out before you decide to get back together or even carry on sleeping together, as any confusion will only serve to complicate and damage your relationship with him that could affect his relationship with his daughter.

You just ask him straight if he still has feelings for you. The tell him the things that have to change for your relationship to get back on track an work out. This might include counselling, and ask him if hes really serious and ready to make these changes and make your relationship work.

He might say he isnt ready just now, and if thats the case then stay strong and dont give in to any sexual advances, or any emotional games he wants to play. if you let him have his cosy family set up, sex and emotional comfort he might see no reason to bother making all the effort to reconcile as he is getting all of his needs met anyway.

HTH

take care!

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A female reader, starfairy United Kingdom +, writes (22 June 2009):

starfairy agony auntIt's great you can stay friends, but try to keep within that boundary, or everyone, including your daughter, is going to be confused.

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