A
female
age
26-29,
*heeseAndCracker
writes:So.., this is a little longer than I intended, haha, sorry.I left Junior High just this summer and am now in grade ten (Grade ten...eep!). Anyway, there's this teacher at my old school who is, in every way possible, perfect. Now, I know that sounds extremely weird because he's a teacher but, to me he's more than that. He is a really good friend. I don't want to sound like another one of those "I'm in love with my teacher" girls but...in a way I am. Well, to me he's just an extremely good friend whome of which I could see myself potentially staying close with. We had so many inside jokes and I could tell him anything, he'd always and still be there for me. He is a huge role model and I admire him for that. I miss him, but have been keeping contact(ish). We went to lunch once (with his wife there) and I go back and visit every once in a while and he always tells me to keep coming back to visit and that I should help with the basketball team. To get to the point, he in a way flirts with me. He always stands a little too close to me or says some subtle remark basically saying that he doesn't want to lose me (as a friend). Overall, he is a very joke(ish), easy going person but, even so I'm not exactly sure that even an outgoing, layed back teacher has the right to basically imply that I'm good looking by saying subtle remarks such as "Wow, you haven't changed a bit, still beautiful as always making the guys drool everywhere you go, none of them good enough for you of coarse." Even though you'd think it would be awkard, it's, just, not. I was just wondering, is it normal to "Like" a teacher on this level? I mean, right now we're good friends with tons of inside jokes but, I'm scared I feel myself starting to want more than that. What I'm wondering is if it's alright to keep in contact with this guy? Do you think the comments he makes and the friendship we have is crossing border's or inappropriate? I don't want to lose him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2011): When I was a freshmen in high school I had a science teacher that I was close to, and would always joke with. I never had feelings for him but He always made me feel uncomfortable in class. ..like he would always touch me and rub my arms and back and when I would say something funny, he would be like "oh you are just so cute". One day, he held me after class and when everyone left he said that the councellor called me down. I guess I looked pissed off about it and he was like everything is ok and then he hugged me... This creeped me out so much, but it was so hard for me to tell anyone, so I started to cut his class and when my mom found out about me cutting I had to tell her what he was doing to me. She set up a meeting for me with guidance, and I had to tell them what happened, but that I didn't want anyone to get in trouble, and that I thought he was a nice guy that was just a little friendly and didn't mean anything by it(which I meant). They just switched me out of his class and talked to him, but didn't bring up my name... I'm sure he knew it was me because we both would ignore each other when we saw each other in the hall ways. A few years passed and now we say hi to each other and smile at each other in the when we see each other. So there are ways to deal with this without it being too big of a deal.Good luck xoxo
A
female
reader, Drat001  +, writes (30 December 2010):
The two most important things to keep in mind are 1) never do anything that could harm someone else and 2) never do anything that could harm yourself.
You mentioned he is married. That means that if you persue a relationship with this teacher, you would break up a family. That breaks rule numero uno. Because he is your teacher, and in Canada, even if you're over the age of consent (16), if he is your teacher, it's still illegal for him to touch you in any sexual way. So, if you have a realtionship with him, he may well go to jail. That also breaks rule 1. So, my advice is, keep in contact with him, and be friendly with him, but never, EVER be anything more than friendly.
I have a good friend who's much older than me. He's not married, and I don't really want to have a relationship with him, even though he's about the greatest guy I know. Even though every time we're at the same place we invariable end up doing things together, and he says things to be funny or make me feel better, I know better than to ever allow someone to think we're more than just friends. I think too much of him to let people get the wrong idea and possibly start rumors or accusations that would hurt him. I suggest you keep the same kind of friendly but respectable distance from your teacher.
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A
female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (30 December 2010):
Tough one because it depends on interpretation.
I've had several teachers/instructors make comments to me like your teacher is doing, but I know they never meant any harm with it. How do I put this...People will always recognize beauty and attractiveness, whether they're taken or not. Since looks have become a big part of our lives, it's logical that many compliments are geared towards that.
Now, in today's society, people have become so strained that comments like these will always garner suspicion. It's not strange, with all the crazy predators we have running around (and keep hearing about in the news) and some natural suspicion is good. But unless your teacher is touching you in an inappropriate way, I wouldn't worry.
However, this is all very personal: if YOU feel he's crossing the line, then you should put an end to it. Since your feelings towards him have grown to something more than friendship, your perspective tends to get a little skewed. Nothing wrong with that, but if you want to keep him in your life you have to keep your crush out of it. And that may not be possible.
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A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (30 December 2010):
 This is really tough to answer. If you are really uncomfortable with him, I suggest that you just stay away. Err on the side of caution, for the sake of your own well-being.
Good Luck!
Jeff
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