A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 25 years old male and my cousin is 24 years old female. When we were younger, (she was 9 years old and I was 10 years old), we started playing doctor that got out of hand. We started having different types of sexual intercourse (Vaginal sexual intercourse, oral sex and anal sex). At first, she was the one that preassure me into having sex with her, but after a while, she did not have to pressure me into it. Our sexual relationship stop when I was about 17 years old and she was 16 years old. Thankfully, she never got pregnant and neither us had a STD to give to the other. And nobody knows about this sexual relationship except for us two.Last January, she came out of the closet and told people she was a lesbian. I want to talk to her about it and find out if our history had anything to do with her being a lesbian. How do I bring it up and what type of questions should I ask her?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2010): Actually I have heard Dr. Drew Pinsky say numerous times that some people are turned gay. However, I think it happens at a younger age. My guess is that somebody abused her when she was a lot younger, which led to her asking you for sex at such a young age. In any event you are not the one who turned her if she even was turned.
I would let it go-- she probably doesn't want to discuss your shared embarrassing history.
A
male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (15 June 2010):
 Um... she's not gay... because of you! Period. In fact, if anything you probably helped her realize it more 'efficiently/smoothly' rather than her having to struggle through the whole issue.
If _SHE_ wants to talk to you about it, fine but I wouldn't bring up the subject to her. It might just dredge up old (possibly unwanted) thoughts/issues.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2010): I bet you she was not proud of having sex so young. Maybe the memories made her feel sick so turning to women was the only way out? Best if you talk to her
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2010): Well, it's pretty obvious all you have to do is ask, "I'm only wondering, take no offense to this, but.. did what we ever do have an effect (affect?) on what gender you like?"
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2010): It doesn't matter if you two have had sex before. She could have already been a lesbien but never told you. It might not even have anything to deel with you. She might have always been attracted to women. If you have to talk to her, do it in private where nobody can over hear the conversation. Bring up the subject lightly because if you rush into it she might not talk to you about it. You have to calm down. Don't worry.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2010): Well first, if this is troubling you deeply then my sympathy is out to you, I will not judge you but I think you two need to have a long discussion and you have to talk to her about how the two of you need to permanately terminate this romantic side of your relationship its not two late to repair what you two had before however nothing will ever be the same and if it deeply bothers both of you need to see a professional. Her sexuality may have something to do with it because everytime she tries to bond with a male she may remember what she did with her cousin, after all you were most likely her first.... no girl forgets her first, so women may free her from what bothers what she has done with you, however that may not be the case at all she may be gay just cause how she was destined to be-------thelovinator****
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (13 June 2010):
 hmmm interesting very, ive heard of something very similiar to this exept they werent cousins they where slightly more closely related i dont judge but any way eventually the female became a lesbian. im thinking it could be because of that but i doubt, generally those agressive type of females tend to want to dominate there for there more attracted to women for a relatonship but shes probably bisexual. If i where you i would let it go i get the feeling the only reason you care s because you still like her if you where having sex with some one for that long starting that young you most definatly bonded with her. my advice let it go unless you still want a relation ship with her.
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